Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/gerard way (singer)
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FairyGarland 09:10, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
|A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article|
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).
|Humour:||3||Hmm, let's see... Humour... Well, I guess the lines about the Noble Gas and the Silver Nitrate are OK, if a bit predictable. The problem you have here is the article you've linked to My Chemical Romance, which has pretty much done the romancing chemicals bit already, and done it very well. If you want to go down that route, you'll have to have some real aces up your sleeve. Instead, the article just descends into more sex stuff - rape, buttsecks, a tiny bit of emo bashing for good measure (although not as much as I was worried there'd be) and that's about it. I'll be blunt: this needs work.|
|Concept:||3||There isn't really a consistent one. You start with the romancing chemicals thing which, as I mentioned above, has already been done well, and then kind of lose any thread you had. Concept is key to a good article - get the idea first, make sure you can think of more than one joke for it, and then start writing. You'll know if you have a good concept, because articles blessed with these tend to write themselves, to the point where you find it harder to stop. A couple of suggestions:
Emo bands and fans complain of being misunderstood a lot, so maybe explain in the article how Gerard is very misunderstood - the songs aren't all simple teen angst by numbers, they're either a deep socio-political commentary on the essential dichotomies at the heart of the human condition, or they're all really about how great life is, and how important it is to fit in and make your parents proud. That's just off the top of my head, and there are probably better ideas, but hopefully it gives you an idea of a decent central concept to start with. Or perhaps you could produce a cartoon take on emo bashing that's too over the top, and very obviously ill-informed, and full of knowing winks to the reader that this is a send-up of emo bashing. That would require some really good writing to pull off, but there's plenty of material out there to draw inspiration from.
|Prose and formatting:||6||Meh, spelling's OK, grammar's passable, formatting is competent, but it's quite short, and there are a few too many red links in there.|
|Images:||6||Again, meh. They're relevant, and captioned appropriately enough. But they don't really add much to the article, and the third is a combination of emo bashing and gay rape joke that's pretty standard and feels old.|
|Miscellaneous:||4.5||Averaged. It's so unfair!|
|Final Score:||22.5||OK, that's not a great score, is it? I really hope you don't think I'm having a go - I'm not, I'm being honest with you and trying to give some helpful advice and constructive criticism. From your contribs so far I can see you've done quite a lot of work on band articles, and you seem to want to go about things the right way, so please think carefully about this:
Read HTBFANJS carefully. Some people are put off by the name, but we're not implying you're stupid, it's a collection of handy comedy writing tips that the best writers on this site still use regularly. You may find it helps. Also, take a minute to look over this: HowTo:Write A Funny Band Article - it's an amusing look at the problems faced by people trying to write a good band article (we don't see many of them). Good things to avoid: long lists such as discographies, buttsecks or rape jokes (not completely, they can work if used right, but don't overdo it), anything that feels too ranty.
I hope this gives you something to think about, and doesn't discourage you. Writing is one of these things that you get better at the more you do it and the more you take advice on board. And if you don't agree with anything I've written here, remember: this is only my opinion, others are available. and good luck!
|Reviewer:||--SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 21:13, Apr 21|