Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/boxes

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edit boxes

I like cheese 19:34, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Okay, the article sounds like it would be a pretty funny article, I mean, that's why I decided to review it. But intro is just awful. First rule of writing Uncyc articles: Don't tell the reader to leave. Why? Because they will. What's worse is that the intro is one of the longest sections of the article. I know you want to paint the idea that boxes are extremely boring, and that's fine, but you work too hard. Instead, you might have your narrator be totally enthusiastic about boxes, "OMG boxes are great! They serve the most important function in the world, which is, get this, holding stuff." See? Stop being so aggressive in your writing, it takes away from your jokes.
Concept: 7 5/5 for picking a subject that is potentially hilarious. 2/3 for the main idea of the article, being that boxes are boring, boxy things. 0/2 for how you carried out your concept.
Prose and formatting: 5 Tsk, tsk. Too many sections, not enough writing. Try combining sections, like What is a Box? and Types of Boxes, together. Combine the Conserve the Boxes section and Boxes: the Film into a section titled Boxes in popular culture or something.
Images: 6 Hey, boxes, in color too! Too many images. Take out the left-aligned images, neither are very funny and they mess up the formatting. You might also consider losing the boring family image, too. I did like the first image's caption.
Miscellaneous: 6 Averaged your scores.
Final Score: 30 This is a very good idea you have, but you need to put it into action. Ask a user for writing tips if you're stuck.
Reviewer: Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:11, Oct 8
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