Yup, after several months of writer's block, UU finally writes something. But is it any good? A decent review with constructive criticism would be most welcome. --UU - natter22:00, Nov 17
Under User, the wait was worth it. Next to Michael Bay, this was the most enjoyable article I have read in a while. I love almost everything about it. The article's tone is hilarious. There is, in my opinion, nothing that can be added or subtracted from the core prose to improve it. You've got a feature here.
As I read the article, I kept thinking to myself, "Why, oh why did I not think of this?" I give you 5/5 for prompting that thought, and 5/5 for your brilliant execution. I love the fact that the narrator (you, I assume) hates himself for loving the movie. You say it all at the end of the second section: " Why can't I drown out the 14-year-old boy inside of me who's shouting "cool! Now they're shooting guns bigger than their bodies at f-----' great industrial machinery! This is so totally awesome!"? ." To borrow a phrase from Hyperbole, "F------ win."
Prose and formatting:
Your prose is excellent. I love your style of writing. Your formatting on the other hand is not perfect. Looking through, I see no red links, good, good, however, at the top, there is a biiig white space, caused by the image and the table of contents. I would tell you to add _NOTOC_ rather than move the image, as it's a pretty short article, so a table of contents isn't doing much good. I also noticed a few tiny spelling or grammar mistakes, nothing a quick proofread won't solve.
Well, there's only two images, and neither of them is particularly LOL-worthy. They both heavily rely on their captions, too. This is the weak point of the article, but it doesn't hurt that much. As far as advice goes, I would keep the images you have, and try adding an image of an explosion or a gunfight somewhere, if it doesn't disrupt the prose. Perhaps you could remove the "Why?" template to make room.
Avg'd as per the Pee template. Also, I gave you a 9.9 in humor because of gratuitous use of the f-bomb. Hope you don't mind.
Holy, er, cheese... I wasn't expecting that! I'd have been pleased with a score in the mid-thirties. Thanks man, glad you like it. Would be interested to know what typos you've spotted though? Could it be a UK/US thing? There are a couple of made-up words in there (be-mulleted, subtexty), but beyond that, I don't see anything - what'd I miss? --UU - natter22:52, Nov 18