Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/ UnNews:U.S. soldiers give AIDS infected harlots to Iraqi insurgents as a false peace offering

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Revision as of 15:01, June 12, 2007 by Mr.Vib (talk | contribs)

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edit UnNews:U.S. soldiers give AIDS infected harlots to Iraqi insurgents as a false peace offering

My first foray into the world of UnNews. Any help would be appreciated.

Humour: 6 I think it's just too mean-spirited and depressing at points in the first half. It concentrates too much on the story itself and not enough on putting humo(u)r within the story. Also, it can be a bit too obvious at points. I like what you do with the UN angle, though, because it's funny and true, as were parts of the Bush quotes. It needs more of the "aslode" stuff mixed in to not make it so heavy at the start.
Concept: 9 With all that has occurred in Iraq (with the prison scandals and the such), it makes sense that something like this could happen, I'm sad to say. It also makes sense that Bush would try to rationalize it.
Prose and formatting: 8 Prose looks fine to me. It can be a little long at points, but that's about it.
Images: 7 The one you have works fine, but it needs more, if for no other reason than to alleviate the problems I described in the Prose and Humo(u)r sections. Perhaps a pic of one of the infected prostitutes saying, "Could YOU pass this up? I don't think so!" or something like that. Maybe a pic of Bush trying to rationalize it with a funny quote.
Miscellaneous: 9 Uh...good(?)
Final Score: 39 I think that the article is a really good idea. However, like I said, it's just too depressing at the beginning, so it needs more comedy interspersed in there to make it black humo(u)r instead of somewhat depressing. Also, add another picture in there to help keep it from seeming so long. Good luck!
Reviewer: --Mr.Vib 15:01, 12 June 2007 (UTC)
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