Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Zombie Wars

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edit Zombie War

SilveryMinnow 00:51, 22 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 2 I was sorta disapointed. I was expecting an epic conflict, but I was disapointed by what I saw. George Romero becoming a zombie, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and the CIA fending off zombies. You also tried to explain the humor here which makes it less funny, Unexpected humor is much more original then expeced humor. Also remove the list. Lists can only be used to list information, not as a humor device. My advice, try to make it less like what it is now and more into an epic conflict. That is the only way an article like this will work.
Concept: 5 Again. I think that this would work great. When I think of a Zombie War, I think of an epic conflict, of who's slower, who's faster. Of who's the best type, of who can kill the most, and who's the better zombie. Mostly the conecpt is not being properly utilized, and that's why it has a low score.
Prose and formatting: 3 Mostly a lot of posture and gramatical errors, such as "The Zombie War (also know as the Dawn of the Dead) happened as Prophecied by George Romero, who predicted not only by word and print, but also made a entire movie which most other prophets dont have the balls to make, requiring people to learn how to read if they arent lucky enough to be around when the prophet makes a prophecy." That sentence needs some major reworking. Try instead "The Zombie War is an nationaly-known war that happened in the 90's and went on for 10 years until the big millennium where people finally got tired of the zombies and put them to rest. The Zombie War was life-changing, as not only did it force the president to ban zombies from ever appearing, it also cost the lives of millions of brains. Many brains contained information that could of changed our lives. Now that they're gone, we may never see those secrets. George Romero was a victim at the time and instead of fleeing, he made a movie out it and in the process, bacame a victim himself." Now that is a sentence right there, well an example of one really, and using those types of sentences will really improve your article.
Images: 2 Mostly bland in this area. All I see is are some pictures that don't compliment the article very well. Instead of trying to use what you already have or seen on the internet. Why don't you try some pictures of the war on the article. Maybe a conflict in process or a zombie leader. Try Image Request if you can't find any images that suit your article.
Miscellaneous: 3 Averaged via Pee Review Guidelines
Final Score: 15 Look, I want to read articles and see them as a whole. Mostly this is an incomplete hole where some parts are interesting but mostly some aren't. Now I know it may be discouraging and all, but take my advice. And when you will, your article will actually improve. Now I know you're a n00b and that's okay. You'll improve over time, you'll improve. Now for the links. Make sure to read UN:RTFM and HTBFANJS, and read. Don't just look at the pretty pictures. Read them, also read the feature articles. These are articles chosen by Uncyclopedia and they are the best. Some will make you laugh and some won't, but they are the best. Have any comments, leave them at my talkpage. I seriously wish luck on you and your article, hope it gets better.
Reviewer: User:The Improver/sig05:30, Apr 24 2008 (UTC)
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