Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/You Wrote This Article
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Watchmaker 14:52, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||3||Not really that great. There aren't any out-and-out jokes, which would be okay except that the conceptual humour isn't developed and so very quickly becomes repetitive. It then descends further into self reference with the "this article is so bad it will be deleted, lol" gag.
The only other real joke is the "final solution"/holocaust thing, and the attempt at shock humour is completely out of keeping with the polite tenor of the article.
|Concept:||3||This is the big problem with the article. There just isn't much to the concept. Self referential humour is difficult to pull off, particularly when there is nothing but the self reference to make the article go. The concept could work if you had some sort of larger theme to link it to, but as it stands it just goes self reference -> deeper self reference -> realisation of the weakness of the idea & attempt to make a joke out of this.|
|Prose and formatting:||6||The prose is readable and fluent. There are some problems with capitalization, but nothing major. There are also some slightly awkward word choices and some confusing punctuation (to be fair, I often overpunctuate myself).
Example: "Making an article, let alone an article as hilarious as this one, is no easy work; it requires patience and discipline, talents that aren't graced to just anyone."
I'd this into two sentences "Making an article - let alone an article as hilarious as this one - is no easy feat." (or "is no easy task" or "is difficult work"; "no easy work" sounds odd.) "It requires patience and discipline, qualities that aren't possessed by just anyone." (I don't think patience and discipline are talents, per say. I'm not sure what "graced to" means; people may be "graced with" things, that doesn't mean anything is graced to them.
Try reading your work out loud, it can really help you pick up on awkward phrases.
|Images:||6||I have to say, I like the strangeness of the image; the caption is so-so.|
|Miscellaneous:||4.5||Average of other scores|
|Final Score:||22.5||I hope I haven't been to harsh. I see that this is your first article, and as first articles go it's okay. My advice to you is to try an article on a more concrete subject to begin with. Abstract humour looks a lot easier than it is. It can be very difficult to pull off well. Have a look at Special:Wantedpages or Uncyclopedia:Requested_Articles. There's a pile of possibilities there for articles, many with some real meat to them. Another possibility is UnNews; a great way to get started. But really, try to write an article about something first, and maybe later you can have a go at the far more difficult task of writing an article about nothing in particular.|
|Reviewer:||--Cap'n Sir Ben GUN WotM VFH VFP 15:49, 9 August 2008 (UTC)|