This was good, it really felt like it made me laugh. You took an ordinary situation and transformed it into a horrible situation where the guys decisions make him doomed and what's best, you killed Chuck Norris, a nearly unstoppable creature. Nice touch. Though could you try to make it more scary (in the sense of fear) and more exciting to experience.
This is practically a good idea off the spot, we needed an article about getting screwed for a long time combined with a giant monster destroying the city. I couldn't find anything that needs improving so you're good to go with this section.
Prose and formatting:
I kinda like the format of the article you did it in. Kinda puts me in the experience somewhat, hell I thought I was the guy getting eaten. But please make it somewhat more exciting. Not a lot, just a little.
I like what you did with the articles. I also like the caption you made for the creation of the grue. Making it out of poop from a Taco Bell burrito, lol wut? Though I would like to see a picture of the Grue terrorizing the city in there, if the grue picture is intentional.
I have to say, I kinda like this article. I feel like I'm the guy and I see that he is screwed in every way possible, this was a nice twist mixing it in with a giant monster destroying the city and I like the commercialism joke you put in. The only problem is it needs a little bit of excitement, not a lot, just a little. It also needs a little bit of fear to it, make it so that the guy is panicing for his life, not a lot, just a little. With these minor enhancements, this may as will be featured right now. Got comments, leave them at my talk page. Best of luck getting this article featured!