Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/You're One of Them!

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edit You're One of Them!

I was inspired to write this late one night. Thus, it has come forth (with an audio!) in a very rough draft. I need your help to make it better. Thanks!

Necropaxx (T) {~} 15:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 6 As much as I liked this article, I found the humor to be a little weak. It's clever, I'll give you that. But it would be nice if there was some validity to the accusations, or at least some kind of reasoning. If the narrator notices, maybe, that the interlocutor is wearing a certain necklace or has a tattoo that sets him off. I don't find the random accusation to be that funny, there should be some reason, however inane it may be.
Concept: 8 I like first person articles, even though they're a bit overdone. This is still a pretty clever idea, I can't really see any place to improve here.
Prose and formatting: 6 Some of these images need to be moved around a bit. Scan it for typos, I counted a couple here and there. The grammar and phrasing is spot on. Well written.
Images: 8 Liberal usage of images for such a short article, but they all really give this article a nice feel. The second image of the finger was especially nice.
Miscellaneous: 6 Other places for improvement:
  • Clean up the ending, you totally kill it when you make the protagonist a Bushie.
  • I would take out the comments in front of the See Also links, they're unnecessary and I don't like them.
Final Score: 34 This is an article that could, with a little work, become a gem. I'd nominate it in the future if I saw some improvement. It wouldn't take much, this is already pretty good. Nice article.
Reviewer: ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 21:43 7 Feb, 2008)
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