Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Xenomorph

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FAQ

edit Xenomorph

I did not create this article, but I did put a thing or two in the article a while back (a year ago or something). This article is one of the reasons why I joined Uncyclopedia in the first place. I want it to be in the front page, but I know in it's current condition it will not last long, so I want to get this Pee Reviewed so I can fix the article up. I prefer a expereinced user with the following qualities to review this: Must be a Steel Kidney, must have at least seen some, if not all, of the Alien movies as well as both Alien Vs. Predator movies, or at least have knowledge of the subject, and someone who can go to serious in-depth on this article. Indepth please. Thanks! If you're 555 then I'm Number of the Beast Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 19:45, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

Dammit, you people suck, blow and swallow (just like your mom last night). Review needs to bee done know. OR ELSE (I'll fuck your mom again.--If you're 555 then I'm Number of the Beast Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:05, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
What is a steel kidney? .I did leave some comments here before about other xenomorphs' inclusion but maybe you are jut concentrating on the ones you have I am NOT an experienced user so I will just leave you to it. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Phrage (talk • contribs)
A Steel Kidney, Phrage, is a user who has won the reviewer of the month award, for consistently good reviews. --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:48, Aug 24
UUtea A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter UU Manhole
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).

OK, Iwillkillyou, I'll take this. But be warned: it may not be pretty. --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:48, Aug 24

Humour: 4 I might have been slightly generous here, IWKY333. I'm not a fan of this article - it reads like any number of fan-written pages, and it's more "OMG Aliens are awesome" than it is a funny article. There are numerous Uncyclopedia clichés here - Captain Obvious, 2 Russian Reversals, Chuck Norris, Grues and the rest. This just comes across as an identikit article - pick your memes, tell us how bad-ass your subject of choice is, finish with a couple of lists, and presto! It's no surprise that this was mostly written by a collection of IPs. Thing is, this isn't really what Pee is about - you make your own version of the article, and bring that here. But as I can see what you want to do, I'll give the following suggestions:
  1. Prune or dump the lists.
  2. Get rid of the "Delicious" thing - WTF?
  3. Trim the random, the memes, the number of quotes.
  4. Forget the kitten stuff, and try to get back to this being an article about the aliens.
  5. Keep the essential layout - intro, culture, habitat, developmental stages, because those give you the bare bones of an encyclopedic article.
  6. Then go down to the concept section.
Concept: 4 There isn't one, really, which is a shame, because there is the essence of an encyclopedic article in the layout. I'd keep to that, but completely re-do much of the prose. The best section here is the developmental stages one - it's got an idea, it's coherent, and it tries. I'd maybe try to improve that a bit, and then bring the rest of the article closer to it in tone - make it a guide to the Aliens, but keep your tongue firmly in your cheek ("keep your wits about you so you can beg any shotgun-toting passers-by to end this hellish nightmare" = good line). As it stands, this feels like it was written by many people, you need to get that consistent tone, and keep it going. To do that, be utterly ruthless - kill off anything that isn't gold (and that's quite a lot of it, TBH) and take a good, close look at some of the absurdities of the Xenomorphs (and there are plenty, when viewed dispassionately). The Predalien and the newborn or whatever you call that abomination in Alien 4 are the ultimate extension of this - they went far too far trying to extend the species there, you can have a lot of fun parodying them as part of the species, discussing their culture, habitat and the like. Try to avoid the list format as well.

Other idea for expansion - possibly discuss what they get up to when they're not killing and destroying other species. Do they have hobbies? Art? Music? I had a sudden vision of an Alien collecting pressed flowers, and the incongruity was amusing to me (but then, it is a tuesday afternoon and I'm bored).

Prose and formatting: 5 Disjointed and feels like it's been written by many people, largely because it has. Needs serious tidying up, but because I'm recommending you get rid of large amounts of it, I'm not going to go into detail. Once you think you're done with it, maybe get it proofread?
Images: 6 Slightly too many, and not all relevant or needed (get rid of that goddamn overused gif for a start). I'd keep the ones from the films, possibly the face-hugger one, but get rid of the O rly/ya rly one, and probably the kitten one too.
Miscellaneous: 4.8 Averaged.
Final Score: 23.8 So there you have it: pretty much as expected, I'd say. Needs a significant overhaul, but it's not totally worthless. Dig out the nuggets of goodness, explore the absurdity a little more, add something unexpected, but not too off the wall, avoid the memes, and you'll be well on the way.

Hope this helps!


As always, this is only my opinion, others are available (if you wait long enough!) And good luck.

Reviewer: --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:30, Aug 24
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