I worked my absolute ass off on this. Note this isn't your standard mode of 'LOLDONGS LMFAO HAR HAR!' humour in Uncyclopedia but your pure outright satire. Pure work of genius and art. Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 04:53, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
Sycamore is taking a slash on your article:)--Sycamore(Talk) 13:25, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
Sycamore is finished and has zipped up--Sycamore(Talk) 21:40, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
It starts of very well indeed and looks a lot better that the variant World war sagas. I think that toward the end it gets little boring with the map images, I think the cooperate referencing is something very good, what seriously weakens some parts is the links to users (however important or humour worthy within the site). I think the article could be made a lot funnier with a more "less is more" standpoint. It's currently a little too long- the whole section of The world until allies would not be to sorely missed here, the large images on this section give it more importance than it deserves. You deal with good themes for comic effect and it's not silly or random, so kudos there. Again I think the article is pretty funny already- it's not lack of material, its lack of ruthless editing decisions that are needed to tighten the good stuff together and leave some of the weaker aspects out.
It's a bit a "saga" piece however you've done a tidy job with this, the themes you interweave are strong. It’s a solid addition as a topic, no complaints there.
Prose and formatting:
Needs red link removal, need relevant linkage-listing to users is not very in line with the general concept of the site, similarly you've put links to almost completely unrelated matters (a bit of a blight on your fab article). I think you're prose does not flow as well as it could- it's a little too abrupt and energetic, stripping down the layers to having just good stuff is the key here. No quotes, I like quotes and Oscar Wilde so I would consider this. Otherwise big kudos for stuff like the infobox and all the other little touches like the flags, it looks wikipedia, which adds to the humour. The world is a section which could shrink a lot it looks a bit out of place and consumes a lot more space than it needs to.
For the most part strong, particularly the infobox as well as the image work all the way down, the disproportionate sizing throughout is something I would change, although I like the big one at the bottom. Many of your images are too small (If it was a Journal or scientific Wikipedia article this would be fine) to really see as you're reading, the captions however do add to the article. The large ones of the worlds could be left in, but there so imposing currently they detract from the quality writing that you've done.
I think this is an interesting take, particularly in a very cooperate age, and it the messages within your humorous take on them really works well- I think you have done a good job with this- I would don't think there’s anything I would add- It's more a case of taking out the Machete and wading in- stripping some of it down and resizing images as well as links and it'll be one of the best
nice work, a world war and a royal with cheese- drop me a line for any points raised:)