Alright! My second article in three days, I hope you guys like it.Gas Pump 14:54, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Gas Pump 14:54, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Hmm. Well, I have to admit, I did chuckle at the first few lines and paragraphs, but it gets somewhat repetitive. The first paragraph was very funny, but the rest just seems like filler.
Good job on this one. I enjoyed the overall idea of "you're a sinner and you must burn in hell", but it was executed poorly.
Prose and formatting:
The paragraphs overlapping has been done to death. Maybe center your images a bit, make seperate sections? It's not that it looks bad, it's just been done a million times.
Didn't do much for me. I didn't really get the creepy anime guy picture, and kinda saw the Hitler picutre coming. The gold statue...meh, would've been funnier if photoshopped.
You need some more input for each paragraph. One of the the things that makes an article great is when you throw a curveball of different types of humo(u)r at the reader in each section. Expand each joke, change up your style a bit, cut off a few unecessary sections, maybe add a clever image or two, and you've got a pretty decent article.