Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Does Christopher Meloni not have an emmy yet? version 2.5

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edit Why?:Does Christopher Meloni not have an emmy yet?

This is my 2 1/2 time entering this into Pee Review please tell me what you think and give as many suggestions as possible please.--Dr. Fenwick 20:52, 27 November 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 7.25 average of all sections
  • intro:7
a solid beginning, clearly expressing the idea of the article. the link to the arizona cadrinals is slightly weird/random.
  • the phenomenon:6
not much in the way of laughs, but another solid section stating the facts. the part about singing opera is good.
  • conspiracy theories:9
this is your strongest section. the link to seacrest is pretty good, i love the indirect links like that. since DUI is a redlink, maybe you could make that one link to billy joel or paula abdul. the kiefer sutherland/sheep bit is good, it seems you're read HTBFANJS well enough. i also really liked the part where merloni does the investigative work himself. the oz part kind of drags, i think some sort of reference to a run-down oz from the wizard of oz might work there.
  • merloni's reaction:5
the did you know blurb is good, but the rest of this section wanders. the green tea bit could be good with some tweaking. the images should be moved, see the images section of this review. overall this section feels rushed; take some time and make it fit with the rest of the article.
Concept: 9 i really liked the concept, and i don't even watch law & order.
Prose and formatting: 6 it seems you overuse 'Christopher Merloni'. try going with 'Merloni' or just 'he' a few times, to make it flow. the 'i know what you did last summer' movie should have all of its words capitalized. maybe more of an encyclopedic tone would work better, rather than saying things like 'us here at uncyclopedia'. this is particularly true in the last section. there are grammatical, spelling, and formatting mistakes here and there, see final comments.
Images: 8.34 average of all images
  • conspiracy template (no score)
templates at the beginning of articles are generally frowned upon, but it's more of a personal opinion. if you want to keep it it's fine; it doesn't hurt.
  • merloni being awesome:10
nice. not a funny image by itself, but the caption makes it sync with the page perfectly. well done.
  • hitting seinfeld:7
pretty good. there are issues (his head & hands are way different colors, and it seems to be in a living room rather than an award show), but for a chopped image it still works nicely and is funny, which is what counts.
  • mariska:8
nice, another simple image made funny with a caption.

i recommend moving the mariska image up to the conspiracy theories part, and the seinfeld one down to the reaction part, since that is the point in the article where he actually abuses seinfeld.

Miscellaneous: 10 since i thoroughly enjoyed this article, after expecting to not like it at all before i read it, i award you the maximum number of miscellany points. congratulations.
Final Score: 40.59 you've got a good article here, and i see it's on VFH with 11 votes as of this writing. i'd be tempted to vote for, provided some of the suggestions i have suggested are followed (i like to think i'm helpful like that). i would myself fix up things like grammar and spelling for you, but i am very hesitant to edit in any way an article that is on VFH. if you'd like, i could help you out with getting this one featured. i could do a grammar/spelling edit, and then a general edit with some changes that you could revert at your leisure. if you don't mind my editing/meddling, you can let me know on my talk page, and i'll comply as promptly as possible. keep up the good work, and good luck on a highlight.
Reviewer: --SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 23:36, 7 December 2007 (UTC)
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