Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Wayne Brady

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edit Wayne Brady

JackOfSpades (talk) 23:11, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 2 Alright, let me try to be nice. Basically, this article borders on false (which is OK) and completely random (which is not). A few things you should take out of your article are the quotes (Snakes on a Plane and Samuel L. Jackson are no longer funny), the references to Kitten Huffing (no more of this...ever) and the "Necro-whatever" section. The latter isn't really humorous, you're just calling Wayne Brady a necrophiliac-not so much funny as it is just plain weird.

Your links, in particular, need some work. You didn't really put any punchlines in them- it looked like you just decided to link a few words that you thought were cool.

Concept: 3 I guess we need an article on Wayne Brady, and a few of the references and cultural jokes might go over my head here. But what on Earth does this article have anything to do with Wayne Brady? This basically sounds like you don't like this man for some reason, and decided to make an Uncyclopedia article smearing him. Smearing his fine, but you have to make it coherent and appeal to a large audience. I'm guessing only the hardest of hardcore fans of this guy will get these jokes, and that doesn't really work out well when you're writing an article-you have to make it funny to everyone.
Prose and formatting: 2 Your images overlap into other sections, making your article look like an incoherent mess. Also, your "achievments made by Brady" is a list- lists, with a small amount of exceptions, are never, ever funny. If you want to make your article look better, consider morphing your smaller sections into some bigger ones, and get rid of excess images (more on that below).
Images: 2 Ok, this images are, in my opinion, completely random. Granted, some of them gave me chuckles, but what is a picture of an Emo doing in an article about Wayne Brady? Also, the "Just seconds before his death" caption in the second image is a non-sequitir-just seconds before the death of who?
Miscellaneous: 2 Overall grade of the article.
Final Score: 11 Here's the plain truth: your article is random, incoherent, and above all, just not very funny. However, i'm not just here to criticize you- there are some ways you can improve it. First of, trim some excess fat- you don't need "a completely unrelated paragraph". Second, turn that list in the Achievments section into a paragraph. Third, take down some of the irrelevant sections, and merge the smaller ones into the large ones. If you're stuck, try reading the Michael Jackson article- it's funny, and has a solid direction, which is exactly what you need. Do your best to get rid of cliches (no Motherfuckin' Jackson or Kitten Huffing, please), and remove that Emo image. Good luck!
Reviewer: Saberwolf116 17:57, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
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