Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Vladimir Popovicovipskievinikyoff
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Added a bit of body to an inside joke I had going, I decided to tie it in with Russo-Japanese War so that it wasn't just something random i pulled out of thin air.
blarg4 01:07, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||It's OK, I suppose. You establish two very good running jokes, only to completely squnder their potential.
The first is the repetition of Popovicovipskievinikyoff's last name. By constantly repeating "Popovicovipskievinikyoff," you can actually draw quite a few laughs. Popovicovipskievinikyoff is a funny-sounding Slavic name, and by constantly repeating Popovicovipskievinikyoff, you draw attention to this fact. However, repeating Popovicovipskievinikyoff too often will most likely get annoying, so don't repeat Popovicovipskievinikyoff too often.
The second is using the same picture of Popovicovipskievinikyoff again and again. The has a lot of comedic potential, actually, but seeing as you only use the same picture twice, it comes off as lazy more than intentional. Fix that. I would recommend using the same picture at least one to two more times, at wildly different points in Popovicovipskievinikyoff's life, to highlight the joke.
Everything aside from these jokes is fairly unfunny, though. There's a lot of "he drank lots of vodka" jokes, which are the epitome of uncreative. You've got a guy with the last name Popovicovipskievinikyoff, and instead of exploiting the fact that this (fictional) man's name is Popovicovipskievinikyoff, you resort to lame-ass vodka jokes instead of repeating Popovicovipskievinikyoff, which is a very funny-sounding name.
|Concept:||5||Meh. I like the idea of having a really old Russian dude with a long name, and the fact that it ties in to another one of your articles is fairly clever. However, this is just some made-up dude. Anyone can make fun of a made-up dude, because of the fact that he's made up. This doesn't mean that the article's bad, just that conceptually speaking it isn't what I'd consider first-rate.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||It's alright. Your tone is very juvenile. Show this to anyone, and they'd immediately know it was the work of a high school student. That's not what you want. Istead of writing like a 17-year-old, take a more educational, scholarly tone. Creating juxtaposition between a serious tone and silly subject matter is a sure-fire way to create humor.
In addition, the formatting is a bit odd. The bit about "Family history" is out of place--either put it in the beginning of the article, or (what I would do) lose it completely.
|Images:||4||You have one (admittedly funny) picture of an old Slavic dude. You use the same picture twice, which rings of laziness more than intent. Either make a running joke of this, and use this same picture repeatedly (which I suggest above), or get s'more pictures.|
|Miscellaneous:||8||Higher than average by a lot, as I feel this could be really funny, potentially.|
|Final Score:||29||Remember, it's important that you repeat Popovicovipskievinikyoff.|
|Reviewer:||—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:58, 23 May 2009 (UTC)|