Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Verizon Wireless girls

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edit Verizon Wireless girls

Let me know what you think. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 06:25, November 7, 2010 (UTC)

I'm going to review this. Very soon. But first I need to lock myself in a closet... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:48, 16 December 2010

Concept: 7 Hmm... You're going off the images, no? They look like they would be images from around the Verizon website, intended to help sell their devices, visual appeal and all, while also looking incredibly strange while they're at it. You built off that, you twisted them into actually being something... a squad of powerful women who get the job done. The problem is, though, the twist is part of what makes it so nice. It's unexpected, yes, it's sort of like reality, but so, so different... so how are we to know? Do these appear in their ads, or only through the process of purchasing and using a wireless plan? I don't think I need to tell you that some of us are more clueless than others as to what happens in different parts of the world. If you could make the connection between what this article is and what the things actually are, it might help both the understanding and the amusement of some of the readers.

It also give you more room for funnies, for that matter. You've always been rather excellent at working them in, but sometimes you just need more off which to go.

And you only say what they they are, and which these are, and it's a cursory description at best. I am left wondering about how this came to be, how these got hired, how many others there might be, what sort of reactions other companies have had? You touch on customer awkwardness with Melanie, but it could go further. What long term effects have the brainwaves? What does the FDA make of it? What else might happen if someone actually does trifle with them, as you say they are not a force to be trifled with... has anyone tried? I mean, really tried, not just a resistant customer, but perhaps someone else?

Those are just ideas, of course, but I suspect you could do a lot more with this than you have, maybe using some of those, maybe not. You do have such a lovely core concept here, at any rate. Strange and unusual and all that, and it works already, but you could expand on it so much.

Humour: 6 This really could use more than just the specifics of each girl and a little bit of their interactions... the introduction speaks of them as a group, after all - a group that is just like Chairlie's Angels... except not. That twist is a nice one, but it also makes one wonder where the comparison even came from later, as it talks only about each girl.

And for that matter, critical and dangerous missions? Selling phones and getting people to pay their bills is critical and dangerous? An amusing notion in of itself, but if the rest of this played off that more, it could be even funnier.

As for the girls themselves...

  • Angela, the Urgent High Usage Alert girl - NOSTRILS. The problem with pointing out something so prominent, though, is that then a person might wind up thinking about it way too much afterwards, moving into a general spiral of nosiness... okay, so I'm exaggerating just a wee bit, but come on... those are some scary nostrils. A pity the others are less notable for their appearances, or less... amusingly notable. It would stand out less, then; a pert nose is just not the same, you know?
Melting customers brains, though... do people know about this?! Could be dangerous to company rep.
And for that matter, why is high usage that bad, anyhow? It's seeming like it's the worst thing the company has to fear, almost, here... so whyever might that be? Could be epic.
  • Tiffany, the Digital Delight - So, the whole 'howling with digital delight' thing is in of itself completely ridiculous, but all you do with it is say she can make them do that? For shame, for shame, Hyperbole... where's the hyperbole to it? Or is it already there, and I just... eh, needs more.
Is she convincing the men something that isn't true, then? Is she, perhaps, saving the company money that would be otherwise spent on wages for technicians who would try to make that work, or does she save the technicians the effort, or something?
A whole dinner date, though, for one customer. Sounds slower than Angela's method. Not that it even does the same thing, but it does seem slow.
  • Yukiko, the Mobile Broadband girl - Token Asian... that sounds very American. But anyhow, her 'demeanor'... bothers me. Playing off racism or clichés will certainly work, but I just don't get this one. Make sure others will, perhaps.
On the plus side, as ruler of the world, she must have some pretty good perks. How exactly does that work, though? The fact that as a great ruler, it all boils down to trolling is pretty good, though.
  • LaTisha, the One-Click Efficiency Whiz - Aww... so mean. Then again, marketing... ah, buzzspeak... well, that is how it tends to be. All of them are, really, but this one... poor girl. The last line really makes this one good, though. Also demonstrates their interactions a bit; could we get some more of that?
  • Melanie, the Thank You For Your Payment girl - Scary. How can she live with herself? Or with anyone else... does she resort to stalking? Or does all this falling in love cancel itself out? For that matter, how can she even survive? There must be more of her... what about diseases and stuff? What about... female customers? Would she fall in love with me?
Er... there must be more to her than just neurotransmitters... there really must.
Prose and formatting: 6 Since overall this reads just fine and whatnot, I'll just list some random stuff that struck me:
  • Six links. One has an entire See Also section devoted to it... one is a link to a userpage. Interesting... okay, seriously, why do you have that See Also section? Why don't you just link the first mention of Verizon itself to the proper page? At least you make some funnies in the other ones... but still.
  • For some reason, the introduction just seems to short, too... maybe it's just that all it is introducing is a listing of the girls. Some sort of background would help, perhaps, if you don't put it anywhere else, or something... but the shortness is bugging me.
  • More stuff. It needs more stuff.

Okay, so prose/formatting-wise, you seem to be in pretty good shape.

Images: 5 That logo one... I could make you a better one. In fact, I'd love to make you a better one. I love doing silhouettes... after I finish that other picture for you, though. Which I swear I will. Mind, as what it is, it works - the whole Charlie's Angels thing but with Verizon is exactly what this is, so it's perfect in that regard, but it could just be, ah, prettier, you know?

Anyway, what you're using and how you're using it is just fine and works just dandily here in general, so I'm going to go right ahead and complain some more about cosmetics.

Just in general, jpegs are bad. But compressed jpegs being resized and resaved with the same compression (as setting the size attribute does with mediawiki) on top of their original compression tends to just be downright ugly, which was definitely the case here, especially on the Melanie one. Just looked silly. You may want to resave as pngs or something, or if you really want these jpegs, reupload them already scaled to whatever size you want them. Because they can work just fine that way.

And for that matter, unlike the others, Melanie has a great deal of white space... all for a 'thank you for your payment', something that could probably just as easily be inferred from the rest of the section. Might as well just chop that off and turn this one into a thumb, or something.

Miscellaneous: 6 I should really finish that image... oh, but your article is fairly decent. I'm talking about the article, here. Yes. I am. It's just that... done, I guess? Not that any of these numbers necessarily mean much, anyhow.
Final Score: 30 Yeah, so... you seem to have the beginnings of what should be a pretty great article. Mind, I'm basing this partly on your history - you just have a penchant for that, and stuff. As it is, it's decent already; what it seems to me to mostly need is just more, and perhaps a clearer applicability (which might come with that more), and some other things I hope I remembered to mention.

I do hope this helps, though, good luck and stuff, you know where to find me if you have questions, and I swear I'll get that image to you guys soon.

Reviewer: 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:59, 18 December 2010
7
Bloink
Concept
The idea, the angle, the grand funny of the article...
Hmm... You're going off the images, no? They look like they would be images from around the Verizon website, intended to help sell their devices, visual appeal and all, while also looking incredibly strange while they're at it. You built off that, you twisted them into actually being something... a squad of powerful women who get the job done. The problem is, though, the twist is part of what makes it so nice. It's unexpected, yes, it's sort of like reality, but so, so different... so how are we to know? Do these appear in their ads, or only through the process of purchasing and using a wireless plan? I don't think I need to tell you that some of us are more clueless than others as to what happens in different parts of the world. If you could make the connection between what this article is and what the things actually are, it might help both the understanding and the amusement of some of the readers.

It also give you more room for funnies, for that matter. You've always been rather excellent at working them in, but sometimes you just need more off which to go.

And you only say what they they are, and which these are, and it's a cursory description at best. I am left wondering about how this came to be, how these got hired, how many others there might be, what sort of reactions other companies have had? You touch on customer awkwardness with Melanie, but it could go further. What long term effects have the brainwaves? What does the FDA make of it? What else might happen if someone actually does trifle with them, as you say they are not a force to be trifled with... has anyone tried? I mean, really tried, not just a resistant customer, but perhaps someone else?

Those are just ideas, of course, but I suspect you could do a lot more with this than you have, maybe using some of those, maybe not. You do have such a lovely core concept here, at any rate. Strange and unusual and all that, and it works already, but you could expand on it so much.

6
Bloink
Humour
The implementation, how funny the article comes out...
This really could use more than just the specifics of each girl and a little bit of their interactions... the introduction speaks of them as a group, after all - a group that is just like Chairlie's Angels... except not. That twist is a nice one, but it also makes one wonder where the comparison even came from later, as it talks only about each girl.

And for that matter, critical and dangerous missions? Selling phones and getting people to pay their bills is critical and dangerous? An amusing notion in of itself, but if the rest of this played off that more, it could be even funnier.

As for the girls themselves...

  • Angela, the Urgent High Usage Alert girl - NOSTRILS. The problem with pointing out something so prominent, though, is that then a person might wind up thinking about it way too much afterwards, moving into a general spiral of nosiness... okay, so I'm exaggerating just a wee bit, but come on... those are some scary nostrils. A pity the others are less notable for their appearances, or less... amusingly notable. It would stand out less, then; a pert nose is just not the same, you know?
Melting customers brains, though... do people know about this?! Could be dangerous to company rep.
And for that matter, why is high usage that bad, anyhow? It's seeming like it's the worst thing the company has to fear, almost, here... so whyever might that be? Could be epic.
  • Tiffany, the Digital Delight - So, the whole 'howling with digital delight' thing is in of itself completely ridiculous, but all you do with it is say she can make them do that? For shame, for shame, Hyperbole... where's the hyperbole to it? Or is it already there, and I just... eh, needs more.
Is she convincing the men something that isn't true, then? Is she, perhaps, saving the company money that would be otherwise spent on wages for technicians who would try to make that work, or does she save the technicians the effort, or something?
A whole dinner date, though, for one customer. Sounds slower than Angela's method. Not that it even does the same thing, but it does seem slow.
  • Yukiko, the Mobile Broadband girl - Token Asian... that sounds very American. But anyhow, her 'demeanor'... bothers me. Playing off racism or clichés will certainly work, but I just don't get this one. Make sure others will, perhaps.
On the plus side, as ruler of the world, she must have some pretty good perks. How exactly does that work, though? The fact that as a great ruler, it all boils down to trolling is pretty good, though.
  • LaTisha, the One-Click Efficiency Whiz - Aww... so mean. Then again, marketing... ah, buzzspeak... well, that is how it tends to be. All of them are, really, but this one... poor girl. The last line really makes this one good, though. Also demonstrates their interactions a bit; could we get some more of that?
  • Melanie, the Thank You For Your Payment girl - Scary. How can she live with herself? Or with anyone else... does she resort to stalking? Or does all this falling in love cancel itself out? For that matter, how can she even survive? There must be more of her... what about diseases and stuff? What about... female customers? Would she fall in love with me?
Er... there must be more to her than just neurotransmitters... there really must.
6
Bloink
Prose and formatting
Appearance, flow, overall presentation...
Since overall this reads just fine and whatnot, I'll just list some random stuff that struck me:
  • Six links. One has an entire See Also section devoted to it... one is a link to a userpage. Interesting... okay, seriously, why do you have that See Also section? Why don't you just link the first mention of Verizon itself to the proper page? At least you make some funnies in the other ones... but still.
  • For some reason, the introduction just seems to short, too... maybe it's just that all it is introducing is a listing of the girls. Some sort of background would help, perhaps, if you don't put it anywhere else, or something... but the shortness is bugging me.
  • More stuff. It needs more stuff.

Okay, so prose/formatting-wise, you seem to be in pretty good shape.

5
Bloink
Images
The graphics themselves, as well as their humour and relevance...
That logo one... I could make you a better one. In fact, I'd love to make you a better one. I love doing silhouettes... after I finish that other picture for you, though. Which I swear I will. Mind, as what it is, it works - the whole Charlie's Angels thing but with Verizon is exactly what this is, so it's perfect in that regard, but it could just be, ah, prettier, you know?

Anyway, what you're using and how you're using it is just fine and works just dandily here in general, so I'm going to go right ahead and complain some more about cosmetics.

Just in general, jpegs are bad. But compressed jpegs being resized and resaved with the same compression (as setting the size attribute does with mediawiki) on top of their original compression tends to just be downright ugly, which was definitely the case here, especially on the Melanie one. Just looked silly. You may want to resave as pngs or something, or if you really want these jpegs, reupload them already scaled to whatever size you want them. Because they can work just fine that way.

And for that matter, unlike the others, Melanie has a great deal of white space... all for a 'thank you for your payment', something that could probably just as easily be inferred from the rest of the section. Might as well just chop that off and turn this one into a thumb, or something.

6
Bloink
Miscellaneous
Anything else... or not...
I should really finish that image... oh, but your article is fairly decent. I'm talking about the article, here. Yes. I am. It's just that... done, I guess? Not that any of these numbers necessarily mean much, anyhow.
30
Bloink
Final score
1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:59, 18 December 2010
Yeah, so... you seem to have the beginnings of what should be a pretty great article. Mind, I'm basing this partly on your history - you just have a penchant for that, and stuff. As it is, it's decent already; what it seems to me to mostly need is just more, and perhaps a clearer applicability (which might come with that more), and some other things I hope I remembered to mention.

I do hope this helps, though, good luck and stuff, you know where to find me if you have questions, and I swear I'll get that image to you guys soon.

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