Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Vasily Tolstoy

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edit Vasily Tolstoy

It's one of the two articles I wrote as extensions for Russo-Japanese War. See that request if you want more information.

blarg4 01:02, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

Vasily Tolstoy
is being reviewed by
CajekHi!
Your Source for Fine Scented Pee
And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him
Humour: 5.5 Don't be freaked out by the low score, Blarg. Keep reading. avg of all sections (7=adequate in my scoring system)
  • Introduction (6/10): Not really funny, but that's not what you're going for. The quotes were okay but listen: choose ONE quote for the top.
  • Early Life (5/10): Hmmm... kinda just scratched my head on that one. I get the idea, but confusing people with paper is too random for me. The rest was just not too interesting.
  • Military Career (6/10): it's too short to get a 7, but it does set up the rest of the article, I assume.
  • Russo-Japanese War (7/10): I liked the description of the Japanese war, but there was a grammatical error, plus if wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be. I just don't care about this character you created.
  • Life After War - Final Years(5/10): Well, it's not terrible, it's just... I don't care. It's hard to create a fictional person as worthy of an encyclopedic article, so don't be bummed.
  • Death (4/10): Whoa, what? Comes out of nowhere, makes no sense... at least you tried some sexual humor, but the rest was just too random.
Concept: 5 Making up people and their entire backstories is hard. Don't be discouraged: you're headed in the right direction. However, this direction could be a lot of work. I got what you were trying to do, which is good, plus it wasn't too random.
Prose and formatting: 6 Some problems with grammar, that's it.
Images: 4 The pictures were okay, but the captions weren't very interesting.
Miscellaneous: 5.1 {{Pee}}
Final Score: 25.6 Like I said, kinda tough subject matter. Your article's a little short, so that didn't help. Try to make this, believe it or not, SOUND MORE realistic, and you might be surprised by the results. Sometimes going overboard MEANS sounding realistic.
Reviewer:   Le Cejak <15:10 Jun 04, 2009>
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