Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:VGDictator/secret/secret

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edit Secret Game

Game is unfinished. Please review as much of the game as possible before passing judgment. I don't expect anyone to review this unless they have a lot of time on their hands. If you need help progressing in the game, just message me. VGD >=3 23:56, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Hey ho VGD! I see no one has yet taken this review yet, but I'm happy to do it (unless you want a more experienced reviewer to do it, then I'll go and sulk in the corner). I won't put a reviewing template up, cause I reckon you should only put those templates up when you're actually doing the review... Anyway YTTE's got this one, sort of... - 07:51 24 AprilSir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
AGH! I've just realised that this is a MUCH bigger job than I realised, because this is completable! There's a lot to it, and I may have bitten off more than I can chew here! I'm not sure if it's going to be very easy to review this, because, presumably, there are a lot of pages and it is easy to miss some of them while reviewing. I can offer you the following though:
Prose and Formatting: Score 7
As far as I can see this is fine, the game-y look is good. HOWEVER: I think if you want to go the extra mile you should lose the standard game-frame and create your own little <div> to contain the review. Think about the colour scheme you're going to use, is black the right background colour? You could go for a grey, possibly. The commands and links are good, but nothing about this formatting makes you go "Wow!". Just have a think about how you could be original and jazz the game up. Obviously you don't have to jazz it up so it looks stylish: text-games on Uncyc aren't usually meant to look good, they're meant to look retro-ish and old (which has a beauty of its own). I'll let you think on this one and maybe have a little fiddle with colours, etc.
- Sorry about that, I didn't realise the extent of the game! - 05:15 25 AprilSir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Oh I obviously wasn't clear about what I was going to do with this review, but thanks for letting me know you were taking this one, Improver. - 09:01 26 AprilSir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Yes, thank you YTTE and Improver, this helps out a load. I must however point out that the entering code bit was done in some other text game I played (Can't seem to remember which one at the moment). =S I feel like entering through that big door is going to be a sort of big moment in the game. I will try to actually make stuff more funny and like you said, perhaps pointing out the character's flaws (other than their stupidity =P), and I do actually realise I made some grammatical boo-boos here and there, it was kind of a writing nuance. But yes, I shall certainly try to keep up the good work. VGD >=3 18:50, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
Humour: 6 The humor here is a mix between bland and good, let's just say in the middle. I kinda like the beginning where he is being annoyed by not knowing the secret code. Then it kinda goes bland from here, then it mocks the player for being stupid. It's kinda in the middle. The best way you can do this is by pointing out the players flaws and playing Zork to see how the text adventure humor works.
Concept: 10 I have to say. You. Have. Sucessuflly. Made. An. Original. Game. I really like what you did, you made extensive usage of typing stuff into the URL box and you also had to look for codes and turn on stuff. Which we never really had to do, you also made us of extensive HTML and CSS tricks. Keep this up and think of something more original to put in the game.
Prose and formatting: 7 I have to say. It's good, you got everything. But can use some imrprovment. Try to look through every sentnece, try to see what sounds right and what doesn't. You might want to enlist the Proofreading Squad for this.
Images: 0 No images so I can't really score this, but you shouldn't add images to a game, unless it's grueslayer. Go head and add images galore.
Miscellaneous: 5.8 Averaged via Pee Review Guidelines.
Final Score: 28.8 I have to say, I couldn't really go in-depth because the game is incomplete. But what you have is breaking innovative ground for a game. You have to enter codes, you have to do stuff, I find it great. But there are a few problems, like how you are going to hide the category boxes, we don't want people cheating do we? There's also some minor grammar problems but nothing that the Proofreading Squad can't handle. There's also the humor which needs some tweaking. Use HTBFANJS and also look at some of the games for referencw. Got any comments, leave them at my talk page. I wish you and your game the best of luck!
Reviewer: The Improver talkcontribs19:52, Apr 26 2008 (UTC)
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