Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:SysRq/Why?:Blame Hitler

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edit User:SysRq/Why?:Blame Hitler

Collab with TLB after some talk page inspiration. I can't imagine what else I could get out of it, so hopefully some fresh perspective will help. Or is it done as is? PEEING members only, please. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 13:50 May 2

SysRq and Led? Wow...   Le Cejak <May 02, 2008 [21:05]>
User:SysRq/Why?:Blame Hitler
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Humour: 8 avg of each blabbidy-blah.
  1. Intro [_6_] It definitely was an introduction. You know, I've reviewed a lot of articles now that start out "Have you done X? Has Y happened to you? Then you need Z." I'm starting to think it's a meme, hiding just beyond my view. I myself have done a few articles like that, and I suggest you two awesome writers stay away from it too. It's just that I see this introduction everywhere you know? I would really suggest inventing some other way to frame the introduction instead of listing off a bunch of stuff.
  2. 1 The shortcut [_8_] It's funny, but it's only a sentence long. ...On second thought, the length is fine, along with the reference.
  3. 1.1 Hitler = Bad [_7_] Again, short, but you guys managed to pull it off. That fern thing? Good. I'm gonna add that to my quote template.
  4. 1.2 All misfortune = Bad [_8_] Well, uh, yeah. But you guys, you can't just pull good one liners (like that fern thing that keeps popping up) out of your asses all day, there has to be some meat on these delicious bones.
  5. 1.3 Therefore, Hitler = All misfortune [_7_] The section starts out good, telling a story about you being an abusive father, but then languishes in listy lists. Explain in detail how Hitler did all of that stuff. I don't care about the transitive property as a foil for your article, you need to tell a story of some kind.
  6. 2 Historical context [_10_] I lol'd. That section was what I was looking for: a downright explanation of Hitler's effect on the world. The transitive property section was funny, but missing some juiciness. I wouldn't change this part at all.
  7. 2.1 Famous instances of blaming Hitler [_9_] Uh, guys? That spelled H-I-T-L-R, hahaha! Anyway, another typo was "19030's". This section was nearly as good as 2.0, but with fewer characters. I am a huge fan of narratives, as you might be able to tell by my work. Telling stories using people is more entertaining to me, but still: excellent, excellent section.
  8. 2.2 Blaming Hitler in a modern context [_9_] Definitely made me chuckle. Again, good section. Not much to say here except this section is what I wanted back in section 1.3.
  9. 3 Common misconceptions about blaming Hitler [_8_] Strong ending.
  10. 4 Notes [_8_] I definitely enjoyed the notes. They added that extra bit of ZING.
Concept: 8 At first I looked at the title of this article and kinda went "Oh great. Another Hitler meme come to stab me in my reading place." But no, it was far better! I really don't know what I would add.
Prose and formatting: 7 Some typos, but good overall.
Images: 6 Just one picture? Well, it's a good picture, but you should think of some more to add in there. It's a little barren as it is. A picture of what you ask? Hell, I don't know. I always wondered what Hitler shouting looked like. It doesn't matter, as long as the captions are good.
Miscellaneous: 7.3 9jjwanasdchb
Final Score: 36.3 I think you guys should strengthen 1.0, 1.1, 1.2, and 1.3 in terms of length. The ideas in those sections is weaker than in the others, and has less chance of more in-depth joke telling. Expand it to include more of Hitler's personal history somehow. Or, in the case of 1.2 which doesn't have as much to do with him, more personal examples. I hope I helped, guys! Have fun!
Reviewer:   Le Cejak <May 02, 2008 [21:56]>
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