Couple of questions here. First of all, how's my title? I debated long and hard over what to call this thing, and the current title is a bit of a placeholder. Secondly, could I mainspace it as is? And how VFHable is it in its current state? Thirdly, I would like a lot of attention payed to my prose and my writing. This piece is very dependent on the writing, since it's in first person, and I want to know if I slipped up on my tone somewhere or if I could make the tone better match the character in any way. Finally, I'd like it if a member of PEEING (an Attending or higher would be great, but I know there are some great Stains as well) did this review. Thanks much in advance! ~MinitrueSirSysRq!Talk!Sex!=/GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:37 May 31
PRIP EXPIRED Though Optimuschris reserved this Pee Review, he/she/it/Abominable Snowman has not yet completed it. You may claim the review by replacing his/her/its/Abominable Snowman's name with yours.
I really want to be able to review this, but OptyC got here first. However, I wouldn't be able to review it until Monday anyway. Put it back up then. Le Cejak•<16:18, 31 May 2008>
I hate this part, so let's get it over with first. It's funny, no doubt. I think it's ready for mainspace right now. The mental image of a sad-sack T-Rex kills me. I think the title's fine as well; I can't think of anthing better anyway. When the narrator ate the girl he was flirting with I genuinely LOL'ed but...that was the only time. The rest of the article only managed to illicit grins and nods. The tone is right and I enjoyed the read but it just didn't make me laugh like some other things I've read. So, to recap. Funny. Not that funny. I LOVE YOU MAN!
Concept:
9
I love the concept. It kinda seems like Uncyc's version of "The Metamorphosis". It's weird and original and full of dinosaur. Neato. Ummm. I guess I really got nothing else to add here so I think I'll fill out the section with random discussion of the weather. It's cloudy and chilly here and THIS IS A VERY GOOD CONCEPT.
Prose and formatting:
9
Another nine! You must have done this before because besides a couple minor spelling mistakes (that I'll be damned if I'm gonna go back and find again to fix) I saw nothing that should be corrected. The prose is also spot on. If anything, I'd say maybe find a way to make the main character seem even more pathetic, but it's great how it is.
Images:
7
The pictures are fine, nothing really exciting but perfectly suitable. The caption on the last one gave me a chuckle. I'd give you some suggestions for better images but finding good images is really hard for me and I got nothing. A high heel caught in the teeth of the T-Rex maybe? I dunno.
Miscellaneous:
8
Averaged, but you're an above average dude! Did I mention I love you? It's a good article, but is it VFH worthy? Tough call. I'd vote for it if that means anything, but I have a feeling it might fall a little short. Mainspace it and I'll run it up the flagpole for you.
CUN13:34, 2 Jun
