Couple of questions here. First of all, how's my title? I debated long and hard over what to call this thing, and the current title is a bit of a placeholder. Secondly, could I mainspace it as is? And how VFHable is it in its current state? Thirdly, I would like a lot of attention payed to my prose and my writing. This piece is very dependent on the writing, since it's in first person, and I want to know if I slipped up on my tone somewhere or if I could make the tone better match the character in any way. Finally, I'd like it if a member of PEEING (an Attending or higher would be great, but I know there are some great Stains as well) did this review. Thanks much in advance! ~MinitrueSirSysRq!Talk!Sex!=/GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:37 May 31
I hate this part, so let's get it over with first. It's funny, no doubt. I think it's ready for mainspace right now. The mental image of a sad-sack T-Rex kills me. I think the title's fine as well; I can't think of anthing better anyway. When the narrator ate the girl he was flirting with I genuinely LOL'ed but...that was the only time. The rest of the article only managed to illicit grins and nods. The tone is right and I enjoyed the read but it just didn't make me laugh like some other things I've read. So, to recap. Funny. Not that funny. I LOVE YOU MAN!
I love the concept. It kinda seems like Uncyc's version of "The Metamorphosis". It's weird and original and full of dinosaur. Neato. Ummm. I guess I really got nothing else to add here so I think I'll fill out the section with random discussion of the weather. It's cloudy and chilly here and THIS IS A VERY GOOD CONCEPT.
Prose and formatting:
Another nine! You must have done this before because besides a couple minor spelling mistakes (that I'll be damned if I'm gonna go back and find again to fix) I saw nothing that should be corrected. The prose is also spot on. If anything, I'd say maybe find a way to make the main character seem even more pathetic, but it's great how it is.
The pictures are fine, nothing really exciting but perfectly suitable. The caption on the last one gave me a chuckle. I'd give you some suggestions for better images but finding good images is really hard for me and I got nothing. A high heel caught in the teeth of the T-Rex maybe? I dunno.
Averaged, but you're an above average dude! Did I mention I love you? It's a good article, but is it VFH worthy? Tough call. I'd vote for it if that means anything, but I have a feeling it might fall a little short. Mainspace it and I'll run it up the flagpole for you.