Hallo, Pee Review! Now, I haven't had a stellar batting record lately. I need a feature to keep my self esteem up, and already I've been going without writing for weeks at a time. But I wrote this in an hour or so on a half-snow day and would love some feedback. Please be brutally honest about whether this is featurable or not. Also, I've got RAHBchompin' at the bit to do this audio so I would like something soon so he could get to work on that. As always, PEEING members only please. Thanks in advance. —SirSysRq (talk) 00:17, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
Tagstit doesn't believe in new fancy-pancy toilet systems with running water and all. Just a hole in the ground with a lil' cover will do. Now gimme' your article and I'll be done in a few minutes.
While you are welcome to review this, I suggest you find another article in need of help so that we can clear the ever growing Pee Request list.
Rock solid humor here. I don't know if that is a phrase but I have heard it before. There are wonderful jokes that are relevant to the topic, as well as jokes that are irrelevant, which I especially enjoyed. In case I am not making any sense, I mean the " I plan to draw up a plan for enacting this plan immediately, after my plan to shut down Planned Parenthood is planned" parts. The only problem I have with this is probably more of a concept problem. Well, the concept was good but this particular humor has been done before. Jokes about the stupidity of George W. Bush are good and all, but the ones you use were all done before. There were MANY new approaches to this which I found quite appealing, for example the bit on Guantanamo Bay is excellent as well as the one about people telling him he is still president, just in Dallas. Besides that, everything I have seen before in some form or another and I would recommend maybe taking it a few new directions that you could create in that clever little head of yours. Unless your head is big, in which case I am sorry.
The concept in itself is great. I was expecting a quality article following Bush's stepping down from power and you really gave a good take on it. I am a bit confused as to what exactly is happening until the very end. What I THINK is going on the whole time is that he actually is president and at the very end, you find out it is just something he was told to make him happy. It is very unclear and putting a line or two in explaining the situation a little better in the beginning might clear that up.
Prose and formatting:
Beautiful page, I really don't know how to make it better. I saw no misspellings no grammar problems and everything really came together. The pictures work well and it is very professional, especially for a Unnews article. I am afraid to recommend anything because I might mess it up.
Solid pictures. They aren't exactly laugh out loud, but they are solid and add to the story. The first just isn't funny at all, or maybe it is and I didn't see it. The second is probably the best and the caption is great. The third was definitely my favorite just because I love his face in it, and the fourth isn't too great, but a good caption balances it. Maybe one picture not of Bush but one of his home in Dallas, like a farm with The New White House scribbled on it might be good, but it also might not, just a suggestion.
Pretty good, probably about as good as it is going to be. You could add a bit more fresh humor but you pulled this off very well. Congratz...wait...you just called me a fucker on your talk page! I just took off one point off your average...bitch