Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Skinfan13/Upsilon Sigma Sigma/Collaboration/June2010collab

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edit Taco

This is the June Upsilon Sigma Sigma Collaboration. Have at it, and please enjoy this complementary taco as you review! Taco1 -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 18:27 EST 5 July, 2010

Some one review this already!--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 07:17, July 17, 2010 (UTC)
FINE! I'll try to review this, but someone had better give me cake. I don't actually like tacos. Too crunchy. Too few noodles. No room for oyster sauce... see, quesadillas are better; you can put pasta and/or barbecue in those...
But first I need to go review something else I already said I'd review, so give me until this time tomorrow. Earth time. ~ Lyrithya sig daji Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20100719 - 14:54 (UTC)

Humour: 8 Dammit, this is actually funny. Good job, fellers.

Anyhow, some perhaps useful stuff but probably not really - I particularly liked the history. The combination of rat-meat, an accident and a brilliant random idea presented in such a manner makes for both a good read and even made me smile. The mistake involving the womanly parts, while a little weird, stays within the tone so far within the article. Good irony, too.

Other bits:

  • Shell section - a nap is brought up. Are you, by any chance, referring to siesta? I'd suggest linking to that, save for the fact that said article kind of sucks.
On a completely unrelated note, what's with the asterisk?
  • Meat - to whoever wrote this part: it's a little rambly. And by a little rambly, I mean it goes from idea to idea using transitions that I didn't notice anywhere else in the article.
At this point it should be plainly obvious that the genius who invented the taco understood the symbolism of the meat being inserted into the shell. - doesn't really fit with the history I'm getting the impression someone else wrote...
Other than that, the ideas are fine; they just need to flow better, I suppose. And fit properly with the rest of it.
  • Why is cilantro crossed out? Am I missing something? Perhaps make the reason clearer somehow?
  • Red stuff - So peppers lost out first to human hearts and then to tomatoes? People are so boring these days... seriously, though, human hearts don't taste that bad... at least if cooked. But then I suppose they would lose their redness... so nevermind.
  • References - These aren't exactly references. Just saying. What they say, though, is pretty good... but perhaps calling them notes would work better unless there was a distinct reason, say, irony, for not calling them what they are...
Concept: 8 Huh.

Seriously, huh. Certainly an interesting approach to tacos... the combination of believability and utter nonsense presented in the main tone of the piece is certainly chuckle-worthy. Like someone who really likes tacos (it's the adjectives... hells, it might even be able to use more) is writing an actual encyclopaedia article... just not according to the history of this world.

Prose and formatting: 7 I guess I'll put the gripe about the inconsistent tone here... I know it's a collaboration, but it needn't be apparent. If one person who's good at this sort of thing goes through and edits to make the tone more consistent, I think it would really help a couple of sections, especially the one mentioned above.

Anyhow, aside from that it's pretty good. Logical breakpoints for the most part, fairly good flow, decent grammar, no real spelling errors; better than some articles I've seen on VFH.

Images: 6 The images, all being very different, do not have any in particular that stand out. Good. And, more importantly... they fit with the main article. Well, mostly. But the guy in the taco suit literally is contents and thus both random and funny enough that I don't really see that it matters.
Miscellaneous: 7 I still don't know how to use the averaging thing and thus pulled another number out of my arse. Not that I didn't pull the other ones... anyhow, read the comments, not the numbers.
Final Score: 36 There, random number and a bunch of fairly random comments. Now will you guys please fix it up and move it to the mainspace already?
Reviewer: ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100720 - 14:46 (UTC)
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