Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Saberwolf116/UnTweets:Odysseus

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edit User:Saberwolf116/UnTweets:Odysseus

My first article since returning to Uncyclopedia. Currently a work in progress. By the way, the article is funniest if you've already read the Odyssey.

Saberwolf116 21:37, June 24, 2010 (UTC)

Raptor This raptor is guarding this article while his master, Iwillkillyou333 is reviewing it. Be Careful! He Bites.
12 hours. Luckily I have read the Odyssey--Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 01:57, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
I like to write a lot of things, I’m pretty good at Pee Reviews, and I received an award Author of the Month Award and one feature. Also I like Avenged Sevenfold, Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3, and brunettes and emo girls.
Concept: 10 This is like the first time I ever done a UnTweet, and this is still a work in progress, but I’ll still be as constructively critical as much as possible.

I have to say this is actually good idea, especially since I read the book, so I know what’s going on. It also warms my heart that you stuck with the entire concept the entire time, without going off topic. Reading the article also tells me that you either read the book as well, or you done good amounts of research on the subject to know what you are talking about, so I give you a thumbs up on that part.

Prose and Formatting: 7 the only true error I found for this section is two or three words have lower case first letters (ex I’ve). Fix those and that problem can be solved
Humo(u)r: 6 I thought the article was pretty funny despite not being finished yet. I like how you mixed ancient times with modern things. Although some would go against that, I think it’s a great idea (besides, when is Uncyclopedia ever right?). You also had your fact correct, since truth is usually better than nonsense, this is very humorouss because it has alot of true things in it with a little bit of nonsense in it.

The only thing I highly suggest you do is expand the sentences a little more, because they make the jokes sound too quick. You don’t have to make them a paragraph long, but make them longer and maybe add a few things to the sentences to make them funnier.

Images: 6 There was one, and it does support your article, but I suggest Changing the caption. Maybe have it say, “Me after falling into dirt, making me look like a statue.” That’s up to you, but it’s a good idea. Since you got only one image I won’t be too strict on the scoring, so I’ll give you a six. For future images, you should put images that relate to Odysseus’ and maybe use a few photo shop images and add funny captions to them. Other than that pretty good.
Miscellaneous: 7.3 My overall grade of this article
Final Score: 36.3 Not bad, even after being MIA for a while. It still a work in progress, so I wasn’t strict (hardly ever as a matter) of fact on the review, but gave some criticism as well as some other advice. I’m looking forward to see the complete article. If you have any questions/comments, just go to my talk page and I’ll be happy to answer them. Good Luck! Cheers!
Reviewer: --Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 07:10, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
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