Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:PuppyOnTheRadio/aitd

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edit Game:Alone in the dark

Okay, this is not completed as of yet, and due to the fact that a fair number of pages need to be created for this and I'd rather not keep creating them for no reason, I'd like to get a review of what I've done so far. There is a lot of imagery and layout stuff to take into consideration, and there are a significant number of pages that are involved in this so far. This is not a quick review, so I apologise in advance.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 12:19, 25/02/2010

Okay - I've just moved it to Game:Alone in the dark/Title but there's a slight change that I need to make. You'll find orange cones on the front page - just ignore them and keep going. if it comes up with a blank page in playing then you can enter {{Game:Alone in the dark/Engine}} and click preview to see what will eventually happen, but I'm still trying to sort out the change to cut down the number of total pages, so please don't save any screens that you preview if you can avoid it.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 02:50, 27/02/2010

More changes...Sorry.                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 12:16, 28/02/2010

Do you think I would be qualified to review it? It's quite a grand project, so you might prefer a more experienced reviewer like Chief, or mini-Chief. --Matfen 12:08, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
Please, be my guest.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 19:57, 1/03/2010
Sound, give me 12 hours just to finish it, and another 12 to review it ;) --Matfen 20:16, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
God, I can't believe it's taken me this long to get around to reviewing it. Sorry for the late start! I'll get reviewing now. --Matfen 10:08, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
Humour: 8.5 I was a bit confused as to what the humour was supposed to be in this game, and in the review, I started writing about that, before realising it was more of a concept thing, so you can see my qualms in that section. Anyway, I very much liked how the direction you take is used by that bastard narrator as a metaphor for how you live your life. As you go further and further into that direction, the more ludicrous the metaphor gets.

The introduction informs the player well on what the hell the game is about, as someone unfamiliar with the AITD series might mistake this for some kind of treasure cave. The spelling joke has more depth than it appears, as I thought it was funny just when I selected Edward. Then, for the sake of review, I clicked on Emily. It's a shame that it's well hidden, as most players probably won't return to try her out. I think the concept section will explain most of my questions with the humour.

Concept: 8.5 Sorry to start off with vanity and anecdotes, but it's kind of necessary to better explain some of my points, as well as pad out a review so it gets classed as in depth, despite it just being a load of large, overly sophistacated, arbitrary words that have little point or meaning.

Without using wikipedia, my preconception of Alone In The Dark was that it was the original survival horror video game (a title which is often mistakenly attributed to Resident Evil 1). I also played a demo of it when I was about 9 (fucked up), and from what I remember, it's got a similar premise to your game, in that Edward Carnby investigates a haunted house. So I'm curious about some of the deviations from the actual game you've made. I'll split them up into neat bulletpoints.

  • On the character selection screen, I noticed that it appears to be a victorian(?) painting. I feel like I'm missing something. I thought that AITD games were in modern times, or at least post-1930's (except for the new one where Carnby gets thrown forward in time or some bullshit). Maybe I'm wrong, but I found it interesting.
  • Is the fact that the Uncyc game is actually set in the dark supposed to be a skit on taking the title literally? Or were there actual sections in the original when it was pitch black? Either way, I can see the joke in not bringing a torch.
  • I suppose the omission of any monsters is also a skit on the game, kind of like a superhero who doesn't actually have any powers.
Prose and formatting: 8.8 I was going to complain that on the character selection screen, the pop up images weren't in the right place to blend with the background properly, but it seems you've fixed it when I wasn't looking. Nice one. I only spotted a few spelling errors that inevitably come with the article's first version, and if I can remember right, I fixed them myself.

One idea for discussion would be the layout of how you've set the pages and their links to each other. I know this is only an Uncyc game and not World of Warcraft, but I feel that you've gone to great lengths to maintain the illusion of a video game. When I first played the game, I was actively trying to get out of the room, taking mental notes of where I've been and how far I'd moved and in what direction. Observing the page numbers in the web address, I could see the patterning of how you've linked it. The wording of your narrations for every move appropriately creates a feeling like you are getting nowhere. And when you change direction, it still works, as it comments on the new direction, rather than your position of forwards 2x, left 2x. This eliminates the need for a lot of extra page space, and extra work creating extra summaries, as well as the need to create an exit.

However, the illusion is slightly ruined when you reach the end of the pages for a direction, as you cannot tell when you've exhausted the opportunities. It's also a bit breaking when it starts over again. So there are 3 options concerning this:

  1. Leave it as is, as the people who care about "realism" and "illusions" are the ones who made GTA IV no fun.
  2. On the last page of a direction, remove the option to turn in this direction again, forcing the player to go in a different one.
  3. Do option 2, but also create another set of pages that keeps the option to move in that completed direction off.

Option 3, while needing a lot of extra work and page sets, would be good, as it encourages the players to work through all the directions, and even creates a sense of progress. It can also make a nice end to the game, as when they run out of options, there can be a final finishing page that will state something like "despite trying every option, you fail to make it out of the room. It appears you will be trapped here forever. Alone. In the Dark." However, the downside I mentioned with Option 3 is that all those variables will take up loads of pages, and I think the admins have been a bit pissy about the game section lately, having to delete games with variables of upto 500 pages!

I think if only option 2 is done, players will get the hint. Still, if you want to keep option 1 as is, it's not in any way a big problem.

Images: 10 This is one of the few times when an article will warrant a full score on imaging. Mostly because the images here aren't really aiming to make you laugh (hitler with a banjo), but more to convince that you are actually playing a game. Very few games (if not none) on Uncyc have come close to capturing the feel of a flash video game, but this is done very well, using tons of smoke and mirrors to cover up the seams of wiki code. I'm not saying there aren't a few small errors, but I feel these have already been covered in the prose and formatting section.
Miscellaneous: 9 Averaged using pee. Random note: on the item system, for some reason it has the hide option first, despite it already being hidden. So you have to click twice to open it. I'm not sure if this is just you though, as I think it has happened on some other similar Uncyc templates, so it could just be a wiki problem. Also, there are no Chuck Norris jokes. You forget them every time. And when I remind you, you forget them again. Hopefully this double reminder will set you straight.
Final Score: 44.8 Besides Zork 1, this is the only game I've ever enjoyed on Uncyc, and the quality shines. The bloated mass of text above that is supposed to form suggestions should be taken with a pinch of salt. Not all of those ideas I made would improve your game. They should merely be explored mentally so you know what's good with it, and what you think could be made to improve it. Again, sorry it's late. Family troubles.
Reviewer: --Matfen 13:27, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
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