Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Sandbox

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edit Sandbox

Author request, so I'll be doing it. Sorry if I didn't enter it right into the PEEing system. I'm still learning how to Pee properly.

Matfen 04:29, December 23, 2009 (UTC)


Prose Concept Humour Images Misc Score Summary

edit Reviewer details:

A little bit about the reviewer before we start.

Matfen815, a perpetual noob who occasionaly writes articles, and pee reviews when he is suffering from an episode of insomnia.

edit Prose and Formatting:

How good does it look and how well does it read? 8.5

{{{Pcomment}}}

Writing style

Intellectual yet understandable for borderline idiots like myself. On my first or second read of it, I thought in some places the tone of Captain Conservative wasn't that consistent, but after going back to see where it was, I can't find it. Perhaps it's because at the beginning the tone is so neutral. However, that's how it has to be for the laughs when they start getting out of hand.

Spelling

You should know that Hypocrite is actually spelt Hippocryte. It's latin for fat animal that says one thing and does another... just joking (the latin for that is actually Dickus Chenius). You can check my xplosiv spelin skils on teh grandma seckshun.

Grammar

it is a form of blasphemy, and should not be allowed <insert full stop here>

Nobody marches on the White house with placard (either "placards" or "a placard") saying...

Homosexual(s) have every right to express their love

I bet you used to pick on the gay kids in school as well (I'd insert comma here, but I may be wrong or it may not matter. Do as you feel.) didn't you. (although "didn't you" acts like a statement, it's more of a rhetorical question, or an actual question... Anyway, I'd change it to a question mark, wouldn't I?)

Oh, of course, you have to be a freaking boy loving faggot don't you! (exact same thing as before. Seeing as you have done it twice, I'm starting to have doubts about whether I'm right... why am I up at 3.29 in the morning typing a review for someone after failing to make a snowman in the dark???)

Out (our?) boys are over there trying to free the country...

I'd say fuck you back, but you'd like that wouldn't you, you stupid cock sucking moron. (while this sentence could have a question mark after wouldn't you, it reads out more realistic with the comma. I'd leave it as is.)

And Of course I voted for Bush... (unnecessary capitalisation, although like before, reads with more realism as he would put a lot of emphasis on the of... maybe.)

...voted for a black guy who's not even born in America <insert comma here> didn't you. (It's like the other two where I think a question mark should be used. Isn't it? please correct me if I'm wrong.).

Layout

A few things I should really save for the miscellaneous section, but can't be bothered waiting, as I'll probs forget by the time I come to it. These are a few of those things I thought you might have already noticed and was going to fix when you move the article into final mainspace.

The banner at the top with the "Mass Debate" (btw, I just got that joke while typing this comment) doesn't split in half where the actual text splits in half. The Banner needs to be moved to the right a bit. I don't know if its just my computer, but the watch tab is blocking the letters "M" + "A". Sorry if this is a big inconvenience, and I don't know how much trouble it will cause you to change, as I know nothing about code.

Further to do with the banner, is that it's a pain in the ass to try and reach, without divine intervention, my watchlist and all those options in the top right hand corner. This could also be irritating for you to change, as everyone has a different length username, so it would be difficult for you to create a cut out section as I presume you have for the left hand options. You may want to prerender some images just saying "My Page" rather than the username, and then make clicking on them take you to that section.

Overall appearance

Excellent formatting and writing skills as per usual, (with exception to a few things in the top border).

edit Concept

How good an idea is behind the article? 8.5

A clear freedom of speech parody is something this site is without (to my knowledge at least), and the idea of doing it in one of those yes/no fact sheet things you'll find on the internet is quite clever as well. The only real criticism is that I feel it doesn't quite skewer Captain Liberal as much as Captain Conservative. I feel like I might have missed something you wrote to do with liberals on this article. But at the end of it, I'm not quite sure whether Captain Liberal really does enjoy pornography, as its not made explicit that he does, besides taking an overly sympathetic tone towards them, although now I've reread, the repetition of the word "many, many" could imply it after all.

Then again, this article is about Freedom of speech, not conservatives vs liberals. Feel free to ignore everything I've just said.

edit Humour

How funny is it? Why is it funny? How can it be funnier? 8

It depends on what you want out of the article as the writer. If you were looking to set the topic at the beginning with straight man stuff so it would seem insane when both sides of the page start getting out of hand, you can give yourself a 9. If you were aiming for a laugh riot from start to finish, give yourself a 7. I personally think you were going for no.1, but other uneducated users might get bored early if they have the liberal attention span of a gnat (where are the chuck norris references in this article, damn it!)

edit Images

How are the images? Are they relevant, with good quality and formatting? 8

Well, there aren't really any conventional images with thumbnails and stuff, but the entire page is technically an image in itself, and your groundbreaking formatting skills prove themself once again. I'd give you a 9, but I feel I should reserve a point because of the banner issues I describe in the grammar section.

edit Miscellaneous

The article's overall quality - that indefinable something. 8.3

Averaged. I'd just give a straight 10, but I'm afraid someone didn't include any Chuck Norris references.

edit Final score

Prose
8.5
Concept
8.5
Humour
8
Images
8
Misc
8.3
Final Score
41.3

edit Summary

An overall summation of the article.

All in All, another POTR article. Congrats. I'd say something vindictive about how you just copied off my Drama article, but this is more likely to pass VFH, as mine is currently being torn to pieces for being too injokey.

This was a PEE review by --Matfen 04:29, December 23, 2009 (UTC), who is now finally tired, and is going to bed.
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