Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:PF4Eva/Mr. Nice Guy/archive1

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edit User:PF4Eva/Mr. Nice Guy

The rise and fall of Mr Nice Guy, a man whom most everybody forgot, except for Alice Cooper and Pat Boone (and to a lesser extent Jackie Chan)). I am planning on moving this to the main space. Is it funny enough for Uncyclopedia's masses? Thank you for your input. PF4Eva, the King of Imagination talk Contributions 23:13, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 6 He hi ho hum. However good the article was, it currently looks like I clicked into a lightly vandelised Wikipedia article. The brief jab of toilet humour regarding hiding the guitar was ok, and the image of Mr. Nice Guy getting signed was decent, but nothing was outstanding memorable, nothing that I will joke about with my friends tomorrow. I think that in this case, a pill of HTBFANJS will do, followed by a treatment of Uncyclopedia:Best of. I am not an expert at writing, but I would recommend that some of the jokes play puns on Mr. Nice Guy’s name, if you can think of a way to make that happen.
Concept: 7 By all means, about an average concept. A fake biographie is easier to do then a real one, seeing as to how the fake one does not have to rely on facts, but you didn’t play around with satire, which hurt the concept. I also do not think this idea is honestly unique, I did think of making an article by this name, and I am sure others have.
Prose and formatting: 8 Not too many complaints in this department, you clearly know how to write and spell (which, from some of the articles I have seen, is a good thing!) . You also followed the tenets of the sentence structure, so I am not embarrassed to say this does not need a grammar update. What you do need is to explain a bit more. In the summary I read before I started reviewing (see above the review template) you said the article would review his fall (which it didn’t). You also didn’t do much explaining about why his first two albums failed, was it because, say, critics tore it apart? And why was his second so insanly successful if he had made such poor records before? The small things really matter to make an article good.
Images: 7 You had an abundance of images, and I was very glad to see you mixed their placements up (placed them on the left and the right). This article did have a few more images than I would have expected to see, but with their relevance, I did not take any points off. What reduced the score a bit was that the captions were not too particularly humourous. I am not an expert at writing articles, BUT I do know that images make great places for a one-liner to be flung in. I think the one that leaves the most room for a nice slap would be the first picture, maybe something about Mr. Nice Guy and mistaking him for the girl..
Miscellaneous: 7 Avg’d as per Pee Review requirements
Final Score: 35 You do have a nice article going, and if you bump the humour up a bit, we may have a featured on out hands, but what you honestly need to see to is listed below
  1. HTBFANJS. It saves lives, and will take this article to the next level
  2. Don’t be afraid to be a bit outrageous, add in a small blatant lie to make it funnier
  3. Explain what you are writing, give the reader a reason to believe what you put down
  4. Mr. Nice Guy has an interesting name, try to take advantage of it.
  5. Remove the link to Forrest Gump, it seems a bit out of place and pointless.

You are on a roll here, and I honestly believe you can do a bit better, just give it a jab! Good luck!

Reviewer: Warm Regards, Javascap


Thanks for the help!


But I don't need any more pee.


PF4Eva

Thanks for your help! I think it's much, much funnier now in its current state. PF4Eva, the King of Imagination talk Contributions 00:13, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

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