Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Mr-ex777/FBI Most wanted fugitives (Cruft)
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- This looks remarkably line an article I just voted for deletion. I'll take the review. Pup • Talkies • 08:55 28 Mar
|Humour:||1||Okay, I'm going to go through HTBFANJS on this one. If you haven't read that page, then you should.
The Big Picture: Understand the "Frame" of the Uncyclopedia Setup
In short, Uncyclopedia main space articles are a parody of Wikipedia articles. HowTo is a parody of WikiHow (and similar). UnTunes is a parody of iTunes. UnNews is a parody of various news sources.
This might make it as a mainspace article, but it misses out of sounding encyclopaedic. So without having the right tone it starts off at a struggle. Breaking the encyclopaedic tone can be overcome by having some very powerful humour. This doesn't.
Be a Comedian: Advice About Nonsense and Opposites
This is nonsense on top of nonsense. The first line starts at the lowest possible point on a range from stupid to funny, and it then goes downhill.
Some basic techniques of humor writing
None of these techniques are used. Admittedly this is not an exhaustive list of comedic techniques. I don't see anything in this that is not stupid.
When Writing Nonsense, be Consistent
Well, it is nonsense. And if consistently unfunny can be classed as consistent, it is consistent. One phrase in this section did catch my eye as being appropriate. ... look like a messy, random, unfunny hodgepodge...
Spend a Little Bit of Time
Point by point
The "@#$%^&*" Rule: Being Crass or Tasteless Doesn't Automatically Make Everything Funny
Are you sure you put enough gay jokes in there? I'm sure you could fit in more by replacing every word in here with gay. That would be funnier than the current.
Avoid Clichés (most of the time)
I know that sometimes breaking the rules works. The reason why you should avoid clichés though is that a cliché is an old joke. If I've heard it 5,000 times before, why on Earth would I laugh at it now?
Avoid Stagnant Jokes
Did you go through the list of memes to work out what to include?
Hooray! I'm confident this wasn't stolen from elsewhere. This is bona fidé home grown crap.
Meta-Humor isn't always as funny as you think it is
In fact, it's almost never funny. Just don't.
Use In-Jokes Sparingly
Better yet, don't use them At all.
Use Pictures Wisely
The first image you come across is rarely going to be the best image for your article. None of your images are funny. None of them are much good.
Bias/Outright sarcasm Is Not a Replacement for Humor
There is no bias here. I can only hope that this was done with a sense of irony involved in it.
In The Style Of...
Writing in the style of a shit article will result in a shit article.
|Concept:||1||There is no concept. There is no humour. There is the idea stolen from an article deemed to be too crap to sustain it's existence, and a bundle of memes thrown on top.|
|Prose and formatting:||1||Written badly. Looks horrible. Absolutely no skill at prose or comedy involved here at all.
Big numbers are not funny either.
|Images:||1||I already mentioned I hate them. Let me mention it again.|
|Miscellaneous:||1||Honestly, you know this was a steaming pile of dog turd. When you were asked why you wanted to keep the deleted article, you stated that it was for your personal amusement.
Throwing this on PEE review is not using this for your personal amusement. It's a huge waste of time and resources. If I had the capacity to ban you, I would. If you throw a stinking turd of an article that was a previously deleted article that you have deliberately made worse on PEE or VFH again, I will ask for an extended ban.
Each review is supposed to give some constructive advice. Here's yours. Do not do this again.
|Final Score:||5||Learn what PEE review is for.|
|Reviewer:||Pup • Talkies • 09:34 28 Mar|
edit Dear Pup: I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at.
Now, I know you wanted to be as neutral on this review as possible, but I think I sense a bit of your true feelings bleeding through all your vague language and weasel words. In the future, couldn't you just come out and tell folks how bad an article is? Mr-ex has been a member for a while. I'm sure you don't need to go to such lengths to spare his feelings. Just a thought.