Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Mordillo/Why?Watching a marathon of House, M.D. while you're sick is not a good idea

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edit Why?Watching a marathon of House, M.D. while you're sick is not a good idea

First draft out of the oven. Give an honest review or suffer the consequences. Thanks. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:37, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh the misfortune! I'll review it - heres Noel to make up for it;)--Sycamore (Talk) 14:47, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
A Free Coupon
For a bumming session with Noel Fielding
Humour: 8 Definitely the kind of thing that appeals to me, I think you've done something pretty good here. I like the parallel of having the experience of watching the show and the events of it coming together - its s nice angle.

I would normally go through it section by section, but I think some of the sections could be filled out a bit - this is tricky as I like the snappiness of it. The second bit, 19:00, is a little too short; again, conveying the narrative of the show is a little tricky on text - [2.pdf this might help?]. I think that making some of the section longer will help, the formatting has a lot of white space which makes the article look a lot shorter and thinner than it is - there’s a bit of pro and con with this, to be honest I think it’s pretty funny and this is a minor gripe.

There was some spelling errors, and some tweaks - well written, I don't really feel there anything with the overall style which needs bringing up.

Concept: 8 Yes, good angle for this and a lot better than comparable House articles and sits well with the better TV articles, I think this should stand up well on VFH.

Nice contempory topic, no complaints there. I think you've managed to keep it pretty accessible, and most should be able to get a lot of the gags in there. The pic in the bottom does not quite convey the whole mass produced primetime Med drama aspect of House; I would make it a little more explicit that Greys anatomy, ER etc are a little similar.

Slightly strong Jewish reference at the beginning, there’s a lot of prejudice;), I would make it a lot more Atheist at the first paragraph which is in keeping with the shows pretty cynical stance on Religion.

The dimension of the narrators having a girlfriend and seeming quite normal in comparison to the very career minded/borderline obsessive characters in the show could be highlighted, it’s very risky having a quasi fictional narrator that blends into the text which it meant to parody. Not too sure how, but maybe make it a little more explicit that the narrator is very separate (which is good in the article).

Prose and formatting: 7.8 No whining here, looks a little space and a little thin prose wise in sections. I've covered how I think the show is fast paced and making it stodgy will kill off the hook of the article. There is an undercurrent of "Cajekyness" which is very difficult to define, this can be great, but as always thinning it down a little can help (this either makes sense, or most probably doesn’t)

I would move the Why template down, they're pretty ugly; I tend to notice these things though. Not really too much to complain about. I would close a lot of the white space, but I don't know if I could honestly say they would improve the article.

As is known I advocate the Jedi Lightsabre look on articles, maybe a few more links, in fact many more should they link to my articles.

Images: 8 Nice images, maybe another, I like how they're aligned and sit well in the article. In mentioned that the greys Anatomy one at the bottom could be little more explicit and maybe some reference to other very comparable med dramas.
Miscellaneous: 7.9 Good stuff, No major issues, I would vote for it on VFH. Did I mention my article about televison producers?
Final Score: 39.7 Feel free to leave comments/abuse/Jewish curses on my talkpage:)
Reviewer: --Sycamore (Talk) 15:27, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

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