Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:MacMania/Red Dwarf

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edit User:MacMania/Red Dwarf

Thought I'd do a rewrite for this one as well. MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[04:21 6 Sep 2009]

If you don't mind being reviewed by a noob, I'd like to do this. I have 24 hours, right? Why do I need to provide this? 05:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)

Absolutely don't mind it; I like to think it provides a fresh perspective. In fact, the first article in recent times that I had reviewed was in fact reviewed by July's Newbie of the Month. Uh, signed, MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[17:18 6 Sep 2009]
Humour: 7 My review coming in right under deadline....First, you're either braver or crazier than I am to even attempt this article. Satires of satires seldom work. Second, it's probably not typical to state credentials at the beginning of a review, but as you have no idea who I am, here goes. I'm a fan of Red Dwarf, although I haven't seen all the episodes (I missed the 2009 reunions). I'm an SF fan, a professionally-published writer, and have done radio comedy including being in a comic sci-fi radio sketch that was written by a friend of mine (it was very funny, but intellectually it made Red Dwarf look like Masterpiece Theatre). Third, I really enjoyed your other articles I've seen, although you might want to know that the one about Cheerios has the phrase "Only then was the claim was called to the attention of the directors of the FDA". Fourth, when it comes to criticism, I can be a royal, nitpicky pain in the ass.

There were some parts of your article I greatly enjoyed. Some points I found funny that I think many readers would find funny. There's others I think would only be enjoyed by Red Dwarf fans (who are, of course, the only people of note). For other parts, read on.

Your Intro: I really liked the intro of talking about the star. When I was first told about this series, I though it was a fantasy about a red dwarf (you know, a short, sunburned bearded guy). And also I'll be glad to see the current Red Dwarf article replaced.

Dave Lister as the last human cliché I don't get, but that may be just me. When you described Cat as "an evolved humanoid cat with racist undertones," I was expecting to see this dealt with, but didn't see it--what racial undertones? "Contrary to popular belief, its science fiction setting is not a main characteristic of the show, but something to distract from the lack of humour in later series." Sorry, I didn't get this. The setting in series one distracted from not being funny in series eight? Maybe if you explained this as some temporal thing, it might be funny--or might not. Also I don't know if you want to use this or not, but Dave the astronaut and Holly the computer are a takeoff by name of Dave the astronaut and Hal the computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey. (The joke reference also existed in DH:SC where it was Dave and Hab). Where Danny John-Jules shows up 30 minutes late for his "appointment," did you want to say "audition" or "try-out?" But I do like that part--nice.

Dave Lister—"really being half-black and half-Irish." Don't know if you want to use this or not, but when they did the episode where Dave aka Charles was found as an infant under a pool table, they looked for a baby that looked like the actor Charles. The baby they chose? The son of John-Jules (Cat). I knew immediately when I saw the baby it was supposed to be Dave. Isn't it weird that one actor's son actually looks a hell of lot like another actor on the same show? Makes you wonder.

Also "sending the world into a nuclear holocaust, which would involve destroying all supplies of Indian food anyhow." A fan of the show who saw Lister change history for his stomach might get this, but I don't know if anyone else would (are you talking about the U. S. President John F. Kennedy episode?).

Cat--"...human-like appearance, which is always far more convenient for low-budget British sci-fi." Really liked this. I think using true descriptions of the cast with tongue-in-cheek references like this works very well, for fans and non-fans. I'd like to see more of this in this article.

Kryten 2X4B-523P--Sorry, I know about being reprogrammed, but didn't find the "declare an apple to be the Bolivian navy" funny.

Holly--really liked this. Old guy trying to sound young by saying "dudes"--great. And gender change but it's only a head, like it. By the way, you probably knew in the meet-your-opposite-sex-counterpart episode Hilly was the female counterpart of Holly, and Hilly was played by the woman who later played Holly.

Kristine Kochanski--she is where? I know, in series VII and VIII (but she did appear earlier, played by somebody else). But some more mention of her would be nice, even if you think her character wasn't very funny (although I really liked her frustration in her early episodes. And some critics and fans really liked VII and VIII). She was, after all, a major character in the series, first met in the very beginning and mentioned throughout.

Synopsis/Premise: I liked the ship is the size of a city, with the city presumably being Guildford. But I didn't get how this related with population between 169 and 11169 crew members.

Liked :"crew range from bureaucratic smegheads to incompetent smegheads," although maybe better as "crew range from bureaucratic smegheads to non-bureaucratic smegheads."

Liked the neologisms and invented insults part.

Plot: To me, "hilarity ensues" is rarely funny, and I don't find it funny in this article.

Series 1 seems true, but I don't see the joke.

Series 2 part seems to mostly be inside references to episodes, as do much of the other series' sections. For a fan, it's a nice reminder of those episodes where "hilarity ensues", but other than that, I don't find much of this funny.

Series 3 I do like "sesrevinu sdrawkcab," and "an alternate Rimmer that is actually not annoying." Even non-fans might find these amusing.

Series 4 & 5 I did like your reference to the version of Rimmer that's not annoying (I love Ace Rimmer), but the rest of these sections I didn't find amusing. Sorry.

Series 6 I like the Emmy/British/American bit. Nice.

Series 7 and 8 I didn't find funny.

Back to Earth: I liked the first part of this, but didn't get the Blade Runner reference. Maybe this is because I didn't see this (I did see Blade Runner).

Cultural Impact: This seems to be mostly true and not funny, but I suppose that's all right for the ending. I do like the last line about most memorable being "smeg"--that's nice and probably true.

Footnotes: Like 'em. Would like to see more.

Don't know if you want to go into the various Red Dwarf spinoffs. At least a mention might be nice.

Also no mention of Duane Dibbley? OK, he's in the picture. I guess that is enough.

Another thing you might want to think about is how this programme ripped off virtually every other sci-fi programme in existence. I know that would require a rewrite of the plot section, but I think you could get a lot of humor out of this. Personally I would like to see this be the primary focus of the article.

I remember in the documentary The Red Dwarf A-Z when Patrick Stewart (Jean-Luc Picard of Star Trek: The Next Generation) said when he first saw Red Dwarf he thought it was an unauthorized ripoff of Star Trek, and was going to call his producer. He was so serious, at first I believed him. I think this article could use more of that kind of deadly serious humour.

By the way, I remember an interview where Charles was asked by a young woman or teenage girl what "smeg head" meant, and he burst into laughter. Apparently the show's creators claimed it didn't mean anything, but if it doesn't mean "dick head," I'll stop eating Kristine Kochanski chicken vindaloo.

Concept: 7 I love Red Dwarf, but I don't know if the concept for this article is really clear.
Prose and formatting: 8 I largely talk about the prose in the humour section. I generally like the style as being straight forward/serious sounding (except for the hilarity ensues phrase). The formatting looks fine to me. I think formatting is something that, if you notice it, is a problem.
Images: 8 I like the images. On the captions, I made the mistake of reading the one for the ship Red Dwarf before I read the one for the star red dwarf. I didn't find the caption funny--but when my brain finally stopped working backwards, I really liked them. The other captions are OK--if you cut the hilarity references--but I don't find them great. Sorry I'm not giving you any ideas for improvement. My score for images would be 9 (with a 10 for the captions to the first two), but a 7 for the other captions.
Miscellaneous: 7 General overall impression.
Final Score: 37 I think this article has potential, but could really use developing. I don't find it up to the level of some of your other articles that I really enjoyed. But again, I think doing a comedy about a comedy is very difficult. About the only way I think that works it to do it completely straight/serious, and even then it often doesn't work. But a good try! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to post them here or on my user page.
Reviewer: Why do I need to provide this? 04:29, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
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