Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Iwillkillyou333/HowTo: Be Black Metal
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|Humour:||7||Your jokes at the moment are spot on. There's no bad lines in there, as far as I'm concerned, even if they are done in first person style.
I actually have no issue with first person on HowTos - what we're parodying is not done in an encyclopedic style, and as far as I can see there's not as much of an issue with a non-neutral point of view. The reasoning being is that these are theoretically a list of instructions. Doing it first person basically means a list of instructions from a master in the field (ideally) who you're just giving a personality to.
Read on, McDuff.
|Concept:||7||It's incomplete, so hard to do a complete review. Yeah, there's a lot of good content here, but when I look at a concept I have a look at start to end. Here I have start to middle, but no end.
I'm feeling a bit iffy about the whole History of... bit. In a How To style article you don't usually go into the history, except in that it directly relates to the practical aspects of the article. If this were a WikiHow on knitting fair isle style, I don't want to know about how the knitting style cames out of fair isle and why it was used there and what it did for the economy and blah blah. I just want to be able to get in there and get some well hard knitting tips.
If this were mine I'd be going through the whole style, the sort of music that people should like, and the arrogance that should accompany that type of person. (Oh, Ministry are not bad, but they're about as black metal as Justin Beiber.) What I wouldn't do is start going into how to sound black metal until the very end. At that stage I'd end it on a I can't help you with the sound, but you're now definitely black metal. Now go and hang around your local train station and look scary - I have better things to do. or something along those lines.
|Prose and formatting:||7||Good work so far. Nice layout, fairly good spelling and grammar. Not much I can say to improve it, as you've got the encyclopedic feel down well.
I would like to see you make this look more WikiHow in style. I just had a look at http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Black-Metal-Band (which we can't interwiki link for some odd reason) which has a very different layout to a traditional wikipedia look. This may be the time to start looking at how we can make these look more like what they are based on.
|Images:||5||I have a deep and abiding hatred for demotivational images being used in thumbnail format. The reason is simple - a demotivational image is an image that has been put in a thumbnail format already. Adding it into a thumbnail a second time is overkill. It's as annoying as when someone says "I'm going to the ATM machine and using my PIN number I'll access my CMA account". Okay, I used to be a bank manager at one stage in the past, but even so the visual tautology is a significant pain in the arse.
If you really like the image, and want to use it, it takes around three seconds to cut the image out of the border and re-upload it (or upload it as a different name if the existing image is used elsewhere.) You might like to consider investing in a program that will do that for you, like MS Paint.
As for the other images - the comic book cover is okay, and the black band (is that politically incorrect?) is okay as well. The ship barely scrapes in, but only from the perspective of part of the defining statement.
I'd like to see images being used that are more directly related to the text. For instance, in the fashion bit, you could talk about wearing all black and having skin art is good. this is right, but this isn't. I'm sure you can find other images that will help. (Oh, there are some damned good images if you search black metal fashion.)
|Miscellaneous:||5||It's incomplete, but a good start. Keep it going.|
|Reviewer:||PR 05:26 12-03-12|