Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Hyperbole/Thanks for buying our product! Now, fuck you. (second opinion)

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edit Thanks for buying our product! Now, fuck you.

Well, this was recently Pee Reviewed, but I wouldn't mind, you know, a little more feedback. Thanks! Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 22:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 8 Very funny. I laughed all the way through.

Intro - good solid beginning. Establishes the premise and has a joke or two included - "thou facinorous scuts" indeed.

Early American interpretation - very funny, (loved the Ford death squads). I can see that you want to get into modern products as quickly as possible, but I still feel this section could be lengthened just a bit.

More modern implementations - Now we start getting to the meat of the article. Very funny observational humour. We've all been in situations like the ones you describe. There's very little here to criticise; the humour, pacing and style are all excellent. If you have more material of the same caliber, putting an extra section or two in wouldn't hurt, but I wouldn't put any more than that.

Conclusion - this part I like a whole lot less; it's the main reason that I don't give a nine or a ten. See below.

Concept: 9 The concept is excellent, but big concern is motive. Why do corporations want to say "fuck you" to their customers? I'm cool with it being purely arbitrary spite; but if that's the case, I still think that needs to be established somehow.

The other problem is the conclusion. It just seems too abrupt for such a long article. You could still sign off with the line you have, but there really needs to be something more here - perhaps some shorter, one liner gags about other corporate "fuck yous". call centres, perhaps. Or labels on fruit. Package sales where you can't get what you want without buying a pile of stuff you don't want. Simple, functional products like toothbrushes suddenly unavailable without eighteen unnecessary "improvements".

Or perhaps a different direction; what fuck yous does the future have in store for the hapless consumer?

Prose and formatting: 9 Excellent. I didn't go through with a fine-tooth comb, but I didn't see any major flaws in spelling, grammar or punctuation. The whole thing flowed very nicely and was written in an enjoyable style.
Images: 7 The images are suitable, and the captions are excellent. The contrast between the weaselly corporate-speak and the unvarnished insult in the first one was hilarious. The last one of trying to get at the headphones is hilarious, but I didn't really think the caption added anything.
Miscellaneous: 8.5 Average
Final Score: 41.5 Though this has a very good score, I don't think it's ready yet for VFH. But once it has a stronger conclusion, I would be more than happy to vote for it.
Reviewer: --Cap'n Sir Ben GUN WotM VFH VFP 06:22, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
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