Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Howto:Tell if Your in a Scary Movie
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First Howto, thinking of a better title as well because it doesn't quite fit, any ideas on that would help as well. In detail would be much appreciated! Thanks! Tagstit 00:18, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
|Humour:||7||Fairly good, the twist at the end is nice, my main complaint is that it's over too soon. There must be a few more scary movie conventions that you can throw in here, or some expansion on those you have. Anti-climactic endings can be great: I'm sure anyone reading this article was expecting the oft-overused bloodspatter picture. So well done here, but make it bigger! The best thing about this article is that for once I don't have to suggest reading HTBFANJS.|
|Concept:||7||Good concept, but you are right that the title is inappropriate. In fact, I don't think it fits well as a HowTo at all. It might be a great replacement for the mainspace Scary Movie article, which is a complete pile of shit.|
|Prose and formatting:||3||Prose massively lets down the article. There are some important distinctions you need to make between words, particularly your and you're. Your is a pronoun that describes something belonging to you or being related to you. You're is a contraction of you and are. Unless you are talking about possession, you're should be used. "Your probably thirsty now right?" should read "You're probably thirsty now, right?". There are loads of other yours in this article that you need to fix.
The other word distinction you need to make is between whose and who's. Again, whose is a possessive pronoun, who's is a contaction of who and is/has.
The first paragraph is not good either. It is far too confusing to figure out who is speaking. It might be better to line break between the two (?) viewpoints to make them more obvious; another option would be to rewrite the entire paragraph from one person's perspective in italics as an introduction to the note. Other minor things: don't use "btw"; don't use "ya"; the last paragraph doesn't need stars around the word fuck (fuck fuck fuck!).
|Images:||7||Good images and captions, apart from the first which is fairly pointless.|
|Miscellaneous:||5||The prose is like fingernails on the blackboard of my brain, unfortunately, because the concept is very great and the product is very readable.|
|Final Score:||29||Good, but could be better. Work on it, because this article has a great potential.|
|Reviewer:||IronLung 07:02, 13 January 2009 (UTC)|