So, my attempt at writing a YouTube Poop article. It was mainly stolen from UnBooks:A UTP: Link Gets Pregnant and Dies, which was VFD'd this morning. Well, to get a taste of it go here and scroll down. So, said UnBook was really, really shitty and it seemed to take itself seriously. "Umm, no." I thought. So I copied all the text onto my userspace and began editing, and hey presto, it's now something which I hope is altogether nicer. I tried to make it clear this this page isn't being serious and that it's intentionally bad and is playing on many of the crappy YTPs out there, but still, I'll see what happens. In the end, I'll admit that I am kind of expecting low scores. Aside from that, I don't really have anything to say. Oh, and, should I make the dreaded move from userspace to mainspace? Talk!Contribs! 13:06, June 25, 2011 (UTC)
This is certainly an improvement over the original (or at least as much as I can remember of it) but it still isn't terribly funny. A lot of the jokes, especially towards the end, don't really make any sense and seem more to be nonsensical one-liners than actual humor. And while nonsensical one-liners are admittedly very funny in Youtube Poop when done right, the fact is that this isn't a Youtube Poop so much as a comic strip of sorts, and as such it needs to cater more to that format.
Fundamentally I'm just not sure that any Youtube Poop-styled humor can fit in the format of a series of captioned images. So much of what makes good Youtube Poop funny is the bizarre but clever sentence mixing and of course timing, which is lost in a format like this. I'd say you either have to try a whole different style of humor with the characters, or else just make a proper Youtube Poop.
Prose and formatting:
The language and formatting in this is fine for the most part...there's something funny with the boldface in one of the captions but other than that it seems structured fine for its purposes. Not much else to say here.
The focus of this page is obviously in the images, and while the images you've used are fine I think you could have done a little more. In the spot where the King interrupts Gwonam, for instance, I think it would have been amusing to have an uncaptioned picture before he keeps talking where Gwonam just glares at the King. I think they call it a "beat" in comedy circles, and for something like this a couple of those might have helped.
It's not a bad effort, but I think that Youtube Poop in comic strip format is just something that's really hard to make truly funny. As a fan of YTP I appreciate the style of humor in general, I just don't think it can really be transferred to a different medium very easily.
I think I've pretty much said all I need to. With some work it may yet be funny, but I think you may want to just try your hand at making a video of what you have and go from there, if you want to. Hope this helped!