Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Unscripts:Interview with a Nerd

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edit UnScripts:Interview with a Nerd

Review, then leave a message on my talk page so I know you did it. Hamster6[talk]

Isn't it customary to actually have a working link to an article...or have things changed THAT MUCH since I left? Sheez, you youngins and your crazy ways! Finnius.png

It's UnScripts:Interview with a Nerd...


Humour: 6.5 Okay! This is not bad. It's not perfect, but it is getting there, which is good. I did chuckle several times, which, of course, is the whole point of an article. So. Problems...the article is a bit short. There is nothing wrong with short articles, but I wish there was just a little bit more, as it just feels as though there is a lot of humour that is yet to be exploited from your article. Suggestion: The joke about his stupid names on Runescape was good - but you could exploit it if you added something more afterwards, instead of moving straight on to his job. How about the reporter asking what his real name was, and him revealing that he had forgotten, as he is normally known as "Eternal Orc Master" etc. I laughed at the part about what the nerd did in his lair, and his response to the relationship question (married to a level 100 warlock etc). I'm afraid the pi joke was not so good and his outburst at the basement thing was not that funny either, in my opinion. That isn't to say no one would laugh, just it didn't do it for me.

To substantially improve this article, I would do three things. Firstly, add more. I know that sounds not very helpful, but this is a great start, and more of the same humour would be great. How about, before the reporter leaves, he asks about what the nerd does when he's not on his computer? Secondly, diversify. All the humour here plays on the stereotypical nerd. Which is fine. It's funny. But maybe a joke that breaks the mould, eg:

Reporter: Wow. You really fit all the stereotypes, don't you? Jesus Christ.
Reporter then puts his hat and trenchcoat on, and leaves, with his notebook and magnifying glass in hand.

Okay that was crap. But you get the idea. And the third point? Keep up the good work! If you feel stuck on how to create funny stuff, see UN:BEST, and find an UnScript in there, for example "An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver" was recently featured, and be inspired!

Concept: 6 The concept here is good, I am quite impressed. I mean, it is simple, but effective. You could flesh out the reporter a little, give him a REASON for interviewing the nerd (you know, asking him what he thinks of so-and-so, or the economic crisis, blah blah blah), but apart from that, it is very good and could be a potentially superb article.
Prose and formatting: 7 You made nice use of bold and italics, which was good, and it was laid out well. One thing I didn't like was the small heh heh's you had littered the page with. I didn't find them good, they just messed up the page. I would get rid of those. Add (laughing) in italics if you want to keep something.
Images: 0 Um...you had no images. Even for an article like this, (i.e. a script), the powers that be say you need an image. I know, I am a bit like you and always forget about images, but you do need them I'm afraid. It doesn't need to be photoshopped or anything - it can just be of a stereotypical nerd, of a reporter, of a simple pi sign, anything related, just stick in an image, and if you give it a funny caption as well, even better. The help sections
Miscellaneous: 5 My overall score of the article.
Final Score: 24.5 Keep at it, and this could be good. I would like to see what you do in the future!
Reviewer: Nameable mumble? 20:24, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
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