Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Unquotable:Peppy Hare
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- Don't come in, I'm in the middle of PEEingunless of course you're into that sort of thing--Pup 12:20, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
|Humour:||2||Maybe it's just me, but I'm really struggling to find the funny in here.
The first issue that I have is that you've narrowed your audience down to Star Fox fans. The second issue is that you've narrowed it down to one character in Star Fox. The third thing is that you've not created any significant body of quotes, which as a unquotables makes this somewhat ironic.
As a reviewer I don't fit into the Star Fox fans category, so the first thing I had to do was look at what you were supposed to be parodying. I came across this and compared the "real" quotes with what you had, just to see if there was a significant in-joke I was missing. What I've done is broken this down into two categories. The first is the quotes that I found after three seconds of googling, and the others are the ones I'm unsure on.
Definite unoriginal quotes:-
Those I am unsure of:-
So 9 out of the fourteen quotes are unoriginal. None of those that are left are very inspired. Repetition does work in articles (see HTBFANJS) but rarely as the only joke. Occam's Razor (philosophy) is a good example of how repetition can work as the basis for an article, but it only works that well due to the the topic. Similarly in the Diagnosis section in Alzheimers.
The introductory quotes - to be honest I forgot about them when I started writing this review. I skipped past them as "Oh, the usual boring obligatory quotes to open an article." Unless you have some fantastic material in your opening quotes, then either dump them or limit yourself to 1. Why would I want to read an entire article when the first line I read is not funny, and that;'s then compounded by three others.
So getting rid of the quotes we're left with the opening quotes, the opening paragraphs, the poem, and the summation. The opening paragraph... well, I was waiting to be grabbed. Throwing the name Paris Hilton into a paragraph does not make it funny. Misdirection of links - in moderation will work, but again not on their own.
Ooops, just found "Try a somersault" as a quote elsewhere - Am I safe to assume that none of these were original?
The summation is just a brief description of the character. This might work as an introduction to the piece, but not at the end.
The poem I've left for last, as this is the faint glimmer of humorous hope in amongst the rest of this. I like the poem (assuming it was an original) and thought that it showed a little promise. If anything that could be stretched out to UnTunes lyrics. But I'm sorry it was only a very short poem, and this article can't rest on just four lines.
|Concept:||4||An article on Star Fox I would understand and support. Star Fox already has it's own article though. Unless you are into Sockpuppetry, you haven't added anything to the existing article in the past. If you are wanting to bring more Peppy Hare into the Uncyclopedians scope of knowledge, that's the place to do it|
|Prose and formatting:||4||I could read it and my eyes didn't bleed. No spelling mistakes that I picked up on here. Be more careful with you spacing and layout though. The first image is square to a bunch of text but the last line of test falls below it, leaving it floating separate from the rest of the sentence|
|Images:||5||Didn't really support the article. The characters in the barrel was a cute pun, but they were barely visible in the image and it was a really clunky chop. Bugs Bunny the Father of Peppy Hare... meh. A 20px image blown up to 200px... in context it makes sense, but only if I was doing a "History of" the character and had that down as an early age picture, but the opening of the article a picture as he is today.|
|Miscellaneous:||4||You have something good there in the poem. The main thing that you have though is an understanding of the game. If you use that to your best advantage, and remember that it is just a game then you can move on from there.
Fact I just found. Peppy Hare in Star Fox 64 is voiced by Isaac Marshall, who also voices Mr T in Blast Corps. That means that (indirectly) the voice of Peppy Hare is very similar the voice of Mr T. Which given the difference in age, Mr T could be Peppy's father... and there you have a kernel for a twist to an article.
|Final Score:||19||Don't let a negative review get you down. You have some promise there. Draw on what you know and use your imagination. You wouldn't have started on this if you didn't think you could do it - so prove me wrong.|
|Reviewer:||--Pup 13:10, 8 July 2009 (UTC)|