Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman

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edit Batman

Ignore the link above--the article is at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman. Us batty boys and girls at Imperial Colonization have colonized another article. We need and would really appreciate a detailed review before we move this to mainspace. It doesn't matter if the reviewer is an IC member or not as long as he/she/it did not work on the article. Thanks. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 04:14, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't work on it, so I will take it. Nameable mumble? 12:15, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Woops, saved before it was finished. Hold on! Nameable mumble? 13:13, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
Humour: 6 Right, so humour. Let's go through this section by section, what I think works, what doesn't, and then how to improve it. Okay?
  • Introduction: This is incredibly well written, and would fit in Wikipedia easily, which is all good. Unfortunately, there was only one actual joke which I found funny in it - the whole clitoris thing, which is just so silly and surprising that it provides a good laugh. Apart from that, it was a solid start, not really hilarious yet though. However, I am unsure how you could get it funnier whilst still keeping true to the style of the piece, so don't worry about it.
  • The awakening: Again, this is very well written and clever, yet still is not bringing in the laughs. The "new tights" line was quite good, but apart from that, it felt kind of flat. However, at this stage, I don't consider that much of a problem. The idea (is he Batman, isn't he?) is just getting going, so it still looked promising.
  • Childhood trauma: Here it starts getting funnier, and the reader starts to work out where the whole thing is going. I, for some reason, really liked the tights line again, and the confusion of what Batman's family had been to see was clever, if not laugh-out-loud worthy. (I assume that it refers to the countless reinventions of Batman as he moves with the times?) The Law and Order final line was great, possibly one of the best lines of the piece. All in all, a lovely, solid section.
  • Dissociative identity disorder and sexual confusion: A great section, everything works. The bit about Frasier is witty, and I really like the sarcasm of the intern character. The different aliases, like the different backstories, is again very clever, if not hilarious. By far the best part is the "purely platonic" line, and then the list of aliases. Nice work here.
  • Fear of authority and psychosexual paranoid delusional disorder: This section is good also. The first half is quite nicely done, I did laugh at the accusation of "that wasn't me, it was a different me". However, I thought that the second half, with the exclamations of different villains, is better, really quite funny.
  • Psychological resistance and paranoid schizophrenia: This was decent, mainly just building on the hype of the previous section, but there's nothing wrong with that. I had guessed already that the intern and the doctor were going to be villains, so it didn't come as a surprise. This section was improved a lot, however, by the last few lines, with the "purely platonic" and "not from pain" gags. Good stuff.
  • Conclusion: Yeah, not the hilarious knee-slapping conclusion here is it? But I have a feeling that wasn't what you were going for. Still, it's good.
  • HOW TO IMPROVE: Okay, so I think I have identified this as dark humour, right? It's a very clever piece, I will give you that, and I love it. Unfortunately, for some of the simple people (like me on my first reading), it is easy to get bogged down and bored whilst reading just the introduction, as it only includes one small clitoris joke. However, I know you also want to stay true to the basis of the article, so maybe to help those with short attention spans, you could shorten it a wee bit? Do we need to know about where this guy trained or what prize he has won, as it isn't funny, and we find out the necessary stuff later? The second section, as well, could do with an extra joke or two to draw in the reader. Perhaps a mention of how the patients voice lowers considerably when saying the words "I'm Batman?" (Think Christian Bale). I have to say I was surprised no mention of his voice was included, but it is only a suggestion. The rest of the article was great, except the conclusion, which finished on a strange note. I don't mind the conclusion at all, don't get me wrong, but perhaps it could have ended with "I...I'm Batman. ...And where are my tights?"
Concept: 9 A really really good, solid idea here. Is it the real Batman, who has been kidnapped under the pretence of him being crazy? Is it some literally crazy guy who thinks everyone around him is enemies? Are the doctors actually trying to help? This is a very well done article, and so I have very little to say about the concept. Superb.
Prose and formatting: 9 Yeah, I saw very few errors in the prose and formatting. Plenty of blue links, except in one section, I forget which now. Spelling and punctuation are definitely up to scratch. And it is very easy to differentiate between the three characters, nicely done. Again, very little to say.
Images: 7 Yeah, image wise, there are no major problems. The first two images are okay, nothing special. The image of Dr. Crane could I suppose have a funnier caption - perhaps just something like "Professor Dr. Jonathan Crane PsyD MD ViL LI AN Metropolis State Psychiatric Hospital, winner of Amadeus Arkham Prize, 2007." Okay, something better than that, even. But you know, apart from that I have very little to complain about. The third image is super. I'm not very keen on the last image of Harley Quinn, it doesn't fit with the rest of the comic pictures, but the caption kind of makes up for it. I am currently just trying to think of problems so I can live up to your "detailed review" request. Um um um...maybe the caption of the Catwoman picture doesn't quite work. "Suppressed rape fantasy" doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Detail.
Miscellaneous: 8 My overall grade of the article. I had to read it a couple times to get the whole gist of it, but it was very good.
Final Score: 39 Very nice work here. A wonderful dark tone, with a very clever concept. Hooray for IC!
Reviewer: Nameable mumble? 13:10, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
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