Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Uncharted: Sony's Fortune (Revised)
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Created this a few months ago & put it on Pee Review. Didn't really get a good review, so I've tried reworking it a little bit. Scofield 09:59, February 12, 2011 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||The joke about it being a story of Sony's search for treasure because of the change of fortune after they released this game is well-worked and clever. This concept works and the introduction does a good job of putting this theory forward.
I'm not sure whether this is the real plot of the actual video game. I suspect it is based on it. I can see that lots of it is taking on a sarcastic view towards the nature of this game and video games in general. "Gold Statue will be cursed, like all treasures are" for example. This does come across as a little tired to me. One would expect a game like this to have these elements - I can't see that being sarcastic about is really supposed to work.
I think the only direction you could go with this is to really get under the skin of the character 'Nathan Drake'. Maybe tell the story completely from his point of view. You could come up with a whole new character for Drake that is contrary to being a typical hero and explain away the plot from this whole new angle. This section does need a strong concept.
This section does expand a little on the concept of it rejuvenating Sony's fortune, but it doesn't really go anywhere new with it. It then just goes back to being sarcastic about the nature of video games (or this type of video game) which whilst mildly amusing, lacks invention.
Doesn't really expand upon the themes already brought up.
I like the bit about Indiana Jones however. This is a great idea, having action-heroes explain what it's like for them to play video games. This could be a great way for this article to go: describe the game from various fictional characters point of view. You could even do the whole thing from Indie's point of view.
Was this based on a true story?
We are now back to the original concept.
The first paragraph is confused. It hints that the game was both discovered on the expedition and that it was telling the story of the expedition. Maybe it then says it uses the basic code to then tell the story of finding this code? I think its too confusing.
The Microsoft is even harder to follow. Do they nick the code and then release the game for the PS3? I'm not sure.
The last paragraph I can't work out at all. I'm sorry.
|Concept:||4||It is my honest opinion that the most difficult of articles to tackle on Uncyclopedia is one that tries to get humour out of a video game. There's very little to get your teeth into with these things. That said it is important for Uncyclopedia to parody articles that appear on Wikipedia (ie. things rather than made-up concepts), and you should be applauded for doing that.
The overall idea of this game providing Sony with a big hit and thus reversing the fortunes of the PS3 is a really clever one. But I don't think it's ever explored in detail.
The concept in the 'Plot' section, just seems to be, for you to be slightly cynical about the generic nature of the storyline, which as above I have explained I don't think really works.
|Prose and formatting:||6||The first two-thirds of the article is largely well written. Unfortunately the concept does not allow you to be adventerous with your prose.
The 'Reception' section suffers a bit from the coarse language. I know this is deliberate, but the sudden style change doesn't read well.
Also putting 'fucking awesome' in the final section takes away the authority of the writing. I never see the point in using this kind of language unless its for a specific joke. In fact the use of the words 'awesome' should be entirely avoided. Wikipedia articles tend to be more cerebral no matter how exciting the subject and recreating this tone on Uncyclopedia works well.
|Images:||4||There's only two and they're just taken from the original game.|
|Final Score:||24||Whilst the concept of the treasure being Sony's reversal in fortune after this game was released is very clever indeed, this actual concept is never really explored. The actual concepts of being sarcastic about the nature of video games and then the final confusing section don't allow you to shine with your writing.
I think you need to go back to the drawing board completely and use another idea such as the great one you had about Indie playing the game.
|Reviewer:||mAttlobster. (hello) 12:06, February 27, 2011 (UTC)|