Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnTunes:7 Shits

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edit UnTunes:7 Shits

I'll be very honest with you here. I'd just like to nom this on VFH because I think it's as good as UnTunes:Can't Be Blamed (For My Shitty Music), possibly even better. So feel free to make the review as concise as you want, or if you think it's featurable, nom it so I don't have to anymore. Though, of course, you're free to write a long review if there's a lot you'd like to say about this UnTune. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:09, 2 October 2011

I'll give it a whirl ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 06:58, October 4, 2011 (UTC)
Humour: 9 Ehhhh wow, most of the UnTunes I read/listen to turn out to be half completed jobs that don't appear to serve much of a purpose other than ramble for 4 and a half minutes, this one parodying something seems to amuse me and have a point at least. Well actually this is the funniest or second funniest UnTune I've listened to. I was laughing a lot through out it.

Lyrics - By and large they are pretty funny, but I can't help but feel (despite this being the whole theme of the song) that you use the word shit or shitty a little too much. This makes it sound a little bland, using different words like crap etc might have been a better move, but considering the amount of work required to fix that (re-recording and re-writing) maybe you could just leave it, its not really a big deal. I'll talk about this sort of stuff later on in the review.

How did it sound - It sounds quite brilliant actually, Sonje has done quite well with the recording part of this. She somehow managed to sound strikingly similar to the original artist that I thought this was just some plagiarized piece of crap with no real thought to it, but I've now been to believe this is something worked on from scratch and it is pretty damn funny. The way everything is said, combined with tone and other features make this one of the best UnTunes ever, and definitely front page material.

Other various bits and pieces - This is basically where I'll discuss a little of the humor side of your images (I'll discuss more in detail and other factors later on) but I think this could do with less images, the lyrics is the part which is where the humor is supposed to come from, don't let the images come and steal the show. Cut out a couple and have 3 or 4 maximum, keep these ones:

  • 1st, 3rd, 4th and 5th

These are probably the best images and try and re-space them evenly out again and section appropriate.

So thats basically it as far as humor goes, its a pretty damn good parody song that really only needs fine tuning and nothing major in the re-write department.

Concept: 10 I don't think I've seen an UnTune yet that was written from scratch and actually parodies an existing song to a high standard. And by that I mean it flows well, it sounds like the original just with altered worlds, similar music, etc. Now the idea of parodying something isn't exactly original because it has been done many many times, but I shan't penalize you for that simply because you haven't failed at making a parody you've done it well.
Prose and formatting: 8 Ok as I mentioned before, your tendency to overuse words, even if they are important for the song, does get a tad annoying after a while. Search for different words that hold the same meaning in a of of cases, instead of just using the same word over and over.

Next off, just because this is a song, doesn't mean you don't have to provide links to other articles, you can still do that. And please do for the purposes of adding prettiness and not another dead-ed. Dead-ends make my cry, especially if they article itself is actually funny.

Images: 9 Again, as I mentioned above, cut a couple out so that the pictures don't steal the show. Whilst it is good to have a few to add more funniness to what you are saying, too many can be just as bad and in some cases worse. 4 is plenty and 6 is just over doing it. Also play with the image sizes a little instead of just using the default sizes and for the love of everything shiny, don't just all bunch them up at the top of the article. Please keep a couple at the top and a couple at the bottom, for consistency purposes.

And last of all, whilst its ok to provide a youtube video of the original song and probably a good idea, it looks a little ugly framed, can you do something about the frame please whilst maintaining the size?

Miscellaneous: 9.2 Overall rating out of 10. Also walrus.
Final Score: 45.2 Feature this plz kthxbai. No seriously despite everything that needs small changes, I see this on the front page as it currently is. It's really well thought out and very well executed.
Reviewer: ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au
Woo! Thanks, Frosty! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:08, 4 October 2011
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