Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnScripts:Pixar: An Introduction for Uncyclopedians (formerly Pixar)

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Revision as of 04:59, August 20, 2009 by There's no I in rape (talk | contribs)

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edit UnScripts:Pixar: An Introduction for Uncyclopedians

POTR's review suggestions have been, for the most part, implemented. However, regardless, this article seems to be less flying than falling with style. MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[03:11 16 Aug 2009]

Spyecksdee

Oh, please. Ze spy is backstabbing reviewing this article.

Humour: 5.5 As of now, it's not THE funniest article I've ever read. I did laugh a couple of times while reading it, but I feel that you could've gotten a lot more out of it. I also get the feeling that you were relying on the blue links to inject most of the humor into the sentences, such as the repeated references to "oblivious" and "irony". While they were funny the first two or three times, this type of joke gets very old very fast. And it didn't help that most of the links were over five words long. If you do nothing else, at least shorten the links so it doesn't look like your UnScript was playing with blue paint.
Concept: 8.5 A brilliantly original idea. I've been on Uncyc for about three years now (albeit under different screen names) and this is one of the most original ideas I've ever seen. Combined with a hell of a lot of potential (even more than you've already gotten out of it), I think this topic has a real future in store.
Prose and formatting: 7 Overall, this article was very good-looking. Hell, I'd take this article out on a date if it weren't stuck on the interwebs. However, there were several places where the grammar was less than perfect. Not by much, but enough for me to notice it. If grammar isn't your strong point (and by no means am I saying that it isn't), you may wish to get aid from any grammar Nazi you may know. Secondly, some sections of this UnScript were abruptly short. The kind of short that makes midgets feel good about themselves. This happened mainly with the individual movies in Act III. I'd suggest lengthening these out, if at all possible.
Images: 10 The images were one of the real shining points of this article. I especially liked how you implemented not just a simple JPG of the Pixar logo at the top of the page, but an entire GIF of the desk lamp sequence, along with the integration of Uncyclopedia's logo, to make for a copyrighted bonanza. No further work is needed here. Well done.
Miscellaneous: 7 lulz
Final Score: 38 If you decide to edit this article with my review as a guide, I'd say that your first priority should be to add more jokes. Everything else is secondary to the humor.
Reviewer: There's no I in RAPE (lol contribs) 04:57 Aug 20, 2009
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