Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnScripts:Chex Mix Addiction: Volume 1

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edit User:The_UnIdiot/UnScript

Just want a little help on part 1 on this 2 part series I felt like doing. The Thinker is planning to do this review for me, as he has been helping out with my writing a bit. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 03:16, Jan 8

Humour: 7 The dialog reads pretty funny, but there is room for improvement.
Concept: 6 Not overly original (I'm sure Chocolate Addict has a similar story), but not bad.
Prose and formatting: 8 I can dig it if the story was a bit different.
Images: 6 Appropriate, but not overly hilarious
Miscellaneous: 9 For the effort, cause I recognize that.
Final Score: 36 Its on the way.
Reviewer: THINKER 03:10, 17 January 2008 (UTC)


Okay, so I definitely like the concept, because its a solid basis for a good story. However, I think its a little inside-the-box. Something needs to be a bit more outlandish in this. The addiction itself could take a crazier path, that kinda thing. The same style prose with a different backdrop could work very well here.

The images could use some captions, as they're just about par, not much worse or better either way. Also, just from my experience, unscripts are a tough sell on VFH (much less a two parter). But thats just what I've seen, and a few have made it, so trump it up if you're looking for it to be nommed at some point.

Anyway, keep it up man, the potential is all there. :) --THINKER 03:10, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

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