Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnReviews:The Road (2009)
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Yes, hi guys... Sorry it's been so long since I've done anything of value around here... Anyways, I figured that having this reviewed, knocking out one or two pee reviews in the next week, and then checking up on Upsilon Sigma Sigma would be a good way to get back into the swing of things.
anyways, have a look around the UnReviews mainpage a bit if you are unfamiliar with the format style of this article. Thanks!
| This Falcon will no hesitate to peck out your eyes if you review this article. That is probably because PeregrineFalcon999 has booked it. You have been warned.|
I'll do it in 24 hours, give or take a timezone.--(CUN) 08:21, September 13, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||6||I have never seen this movie. My entire knowledge comes from a brief description from a friend and just a few minutes ago, a very chilling trailer. In fact, after some of the things I have heard about it, I don't even think I WANT to watch it. Maybe it's good that I haven't watched it, to see if you have done this article well enough to make someone who hasn't watched the movie laugh. This is also the first time I have ever reviewed a review. I think it's the first time ANYBODY has reviewed a review!
Anyway, enough procrastinating. Let's start, shall we?
I'll start with the little things first. Your introduction. The first paragraph is good, but I find the second half starts to drag a bit, and actually put me off. I almost skipped the entire bit. The worst place to get even a little bit boring is your intro. The reader hasn't had the true taste of the good humor yet, and it can make them just stop there and then. So you really have to try and make your intro as snappy and as catchy as possible.
I also don't really understand why you put the 'Short verdict' at the start. Shouldn't it be at the end? I don't know if you think it should be at the start, but in my opinion it seems a bit out of place where it is.
The biggest thing here, though, is there just isn't enough humor here. It's mostly just facts, albeit written in a kind of review style. You spice it up with some really good lines here and there, but they're not enough overall. It's good to leave a couple of lines between laughs, but try and squeeze a bit more into this - there are places where I can just see the potential for a great one-liner, and then I'm kind of disappointed that there was nothing there. Remember, this a review - it's someone's opinion of a movie. That means you have some real freedom to add different types of humor. Say, you could write “It was a desolate time – no prosperity, no happiness… kind of like Bush’s reign in presidency, but that’s another story.” That’s not actually that funny, (I think) but that’s the kind of thing I’m thinking of here.
Because of what I’ve said above, at times your article starts to get a little boring. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that it is much of the same thing throughout. So you probably know where I’m heading here. Try and add some different types of humor into it, maybe. Add variety. Always re read what you’ve written to see that your jokes and quirks are evenly spaced, but common enough to keep the reader hooked. This problem dulls some of the humor here, so it should be fixed.
Overall, you’ve definitely got some good humor here. But these problems do need to be fixed to make this article as funny as possible.
|Concept:||7||I think you’ve chosen a good movie to milk some great humor from. As I just said above, I don’t quite think you’ve used the humor's potential quite enough, but otherwise this is good.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||Ok, so I’ll talk about prose first. Your article is actually written very well. If this was a prose score out of five I’d give it five. But I can’t. This is a review you’re writing here, remember. You’ve kind of written it as just a summary of the characters and plot. You only state your opinion at the end. This also ties in with the above point in the humor section – adding a bit of variety into your article. To make it more review type, you have to state your opinions in places, say what’s good what’s bad, you can interrupt with short anecdotes or comments. You really need to concentrate on this, because it is really important.
In the way of formatting, your article looks pretty good. The biggest problem here, however, is the staggering bulkiness of your paragraphs. They are very square, big, off putting and unsightly. Every new idea has to have a new line, so try and break up these massive blocks of writing into smaller chunks, and your formatting will be perfect.
|Images:||8||Your images have good captions. The only one I don’t like is the first image. It just doesn’t… I don’t know. It may need to be photoshopped a bit better – I just don’t really like it that much. However, that’s just my opinion, isn’t it?|
|Miscellaneous:||7||Averaged all your scores in my head, because I’m too lazy to use that special template thing.|
|Final Score:||35||Well done! At the moment this is a good article as it stands. But there are definitely problems that need to be fixed. If they are fixed, however, your article’s quality will definitely rise and it will have a good chance at VFH.
If you work on this, I know it will be very, very good! I hope I have helped.
|Reviewer:||--(CUN) 21:34, September 13, 2010 (UTC)|