Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnPoetia: The 12 Days of Christmas

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edit UnPoetia: The 12 Days of Christmas

Yeah, I created this parody out of pure boredom. I want to see if people will like this. Sire !!メリークリスマス! (16:16 12-6-2008)

Humour: 5 Short, sweet and drunk. You're lucky, if I say so myself, that the reviewer is someone who looks forward to Christmas as the best part of the year. Anything remotely Christmassy will set me alight with joy, really.

Although much is to be made of the fact that this isn't completely laugh-out-loud, so it lacks the gratification of humour that'd be welcome in the arms of VFH's adulterous hide. However, it is a parody and a heartfelt presentation of joking about Christmas, so I was nonetheless humoured.

However, I feel that this article could still be developed further, to a considerable length.

Concept: 6 One slight downer to this concept is the fact that you "created this parody out of pure boredom", which is just as reassuring as someone panicking in a life-threatening situation. This is shown through the rushed nature of the concept; Satan as Father Christmas, the lack of images,

As well as that, the presents are unidentifying with anything. The original song this article parodies details presents that no-one in the modern age would ask for ("A partridge up a tree? Stfu and give me my BioShock"), so why not make the presents reflect on the troubles of modern day? For starters, the "Five... thousand Russians" could be changed to "Five... million Russians" and the link would take the reader to an article/website/news article that enlightens the reader of Vladimir Putin and the conflict in Georgia and Checknya. Other worldwide events could be the current recession, the war in the Congo, the election of Obama, etc. Softer examples could be modern presents, such as a Nintendo Wii or a 45 inch HD TV.

Prose and formatting: 6 Good co-ordination of text, centered with each "gave to me" line following the growing list of presents. Linking each header to the recitals is a good idea, although it'd be desirable if there really were articles on an Atheist up a tree or three French bisexuals (mmm...). There is little text and content, no typos either, so there is little to remark here.

If you are willing to completely overturn the choice of words, the idea in the Concept section would help out.

Images: 0 Even worse is that it seems the idea of putting down a few images escaped your mind whilst writing this article. You wouldn't even need to add captions, the images would just show the different presents you mention in the poem. If you have one image that has a Christmas display, most of all, the theme of the article will become more obvious.
Miscellaneous: 6.75 Average'd, one extra point for a timely targeting of Christmas as a humour tool.
Final Score: 23.75 Definately could be added to the roster of Christmas articles, although you'll agree that you should've added some images. Take care of that and you'll get some presents this year it'll be commended as one of the decent Christmas articles on Uncyclopedia.
Reviewer: --Nachlader 11:23, 7 December 2008 (UTC)
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