Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews: Studies reveal that weight-loss can be achieved with this one simple trick (quick)

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UnNews: Studies reveal that weight-loss can be achieved with this one simple trick

Would love some reviews of this article I just (like, literally in the last few minutes) wrote and uploaded.

Thanks, and heres a direct link: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Studies_reveal_that_weight-loss_can_be_achieved_with_this_one_simple_trick.

Hankjones 14:10, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

Humour:	9	It's great, and it's about f**ing time that stupid internet ad got its comeuppance. It's missing something, though. Can't put my finger on it.
Concept:	10	Again, I'm all for bashing stupid internet ads (especaially ones that are so widespread), and I only wished I had thought of it first.
Prose and formatting:	8	I think what it's missing, is that the prose needs to be tightened up, and some sub-headers put in. That would make the humour more punchy.
Images:	7	More images could help also.
Miscellaneous:	9	This is just my grading of the piece generally.
Final Score:	43	Overall, a great piece. Could use some tightening, but a real cracker of a concept.
Reviewer:	Phrank Psinatra 11:32, December 25, 2011 (UTC)