Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Wacky Wavers brutally murdered (quick)
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So what ya think? Cheers --kit 16:37, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
|Humour:||7||Strong. Very good indeed. The humor is strongly concept based and a strong concept really makes this a funny little bit. There really isn't much to say because what makes it funny is it's concept and what hurts it is its prose. The humor really just is a result.
I think it is the right size and you do a good job of not running the joke into the ground by making it too long. The pictures are really good and the quotes are a BIT weak, and I think you could improve these. You could improve them by making them a bit longer and a bit more dramatic. Just a suggestion though. Overall lighthearted and easy to read with a humorous tone throughout.
|Concept:||9||Hilarious concept. Completely original, people can relate it to modern day shootings and the idea is just strong. I love the creativity here and I think concept based articles, especially short ones like this, are really some of the best things about this site.
The only real problem I have with this is that it really only goes in one direction. I am not saying that you should've branched off of this because that would "kill" it, but a ten is for a concept with many different ways you could go, yet is still perfect.
|Prose and formatting:||4||I really don't know what to say here. I thought the prose was a bit awkward. I think overall, there were some parts that were just too lengthy. By that, I think you sometimes confuse yourself by making your sentences too long, which is impressive and common in an unnews bit, but I think it is more important for the reader to be able to read it clearly without any awkwardness. I suggest cutting down your sentences a little bit and breaking them up. Again, ONLY a suggestion.
Also, there were two parts I thought should DEFINITELY be changed. First of all, right in the beginning you have a weird sentence, which says quickly twice within four words. Definitely fix this as it is very awkward. Also, you say schocking towards the end, and I am 99% sure it is shocking.
|Images:||8||Solid pictures too. There is enough and they are both very funny. With that being said, I do have some problems. First of all, the second one isn't THAT funny and maybe a better caption could be used. The second one is hilarious, but it doesn't bring the reader back to the text. What I mean by that, is that you have a funny idea, but it isn't mentioned in the article. I don't like that. Maybe it's fine and I am just picky, but that's my thoughts.|
|Final Score:||35||Good job! You really did a nice job with a great concept! If you have any questions feel free to ask me on my talk page. Good luck bud!|
|Reviewer:||20:07, 18 February 2009 (UTC)|