twice VFH'ed, twice quasi'd. help me make the adjustments needed for one more run at glory!
SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:59, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
Got ya covered. Back off! BlueYonder 14:38, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
Hmm…well, overall, it can hardly be called unfunny, and I think the jokes in the last paragraph are particularly well-written and provoke a good laugh. On the other hand, there are some flaws in this area, generally in the form of somewhat cliché jokes-I should think that n00bs being banned is a pretty common topic around here by now-and the misuse or under-use of good ideas-the idea of the satellite being edible is a good one with promise, and I really think you might have done more with it than make a brief crack about “hungry space monsters”. Overall, this article bears shows a promising skill with humour that could be expanded upon.
Hmm...well, the concept of rivalry between the many wikis of the internet could easily be called stale by some, but I still really like what you've done with it here, drawing an allegory between it and the technology rivalry between nations. You’ve also done a really good job at expressing the concept within the confines of the news report, with your prose and the nature of the information you provide-science, the progress of rival project etc.-all being very well put down and remaining very faithful to the nature of a serious news article.
On the other hand, I do have a few minor criticisms, my primary one being that I don’t think you’ve quite fleshed out the good concept quite as much as you could have. Primarily, the whole thing doesn’t seem to have quite enough to do with Uncyclopedia, other than the potato. Perhaps you could have included an interview with a known member of Uncyclopedia, or related to some known features of Uncyclopedia, or something of the sort. And then, of course, the whole article completely ignores Conservapedia and Liberapedia. Considering the allegories this article clearly draws between the old technology rivalry between the Americans and the Soviets, I’m sure you could have made some great political cracks relating to them.
Prose and formatting:
Uh...no problems here, not a thing. Perfick spelling and grammar, appropriate prose for a news story...no, nothing to critisise here. I hate that.
Well, they’re not bad, and they’re anything but disrelated or off-topic, but…well, the first one has a good idea, but the “satellite” in it looks somewhat unconvincing, the Soviet symbol in the background looks rather random and out of place without anything relating to it in the article or caption, and the caption for this image is rather…well, lame, if you’ll excuse me. Perhaps you could modify the caption to relate to the Soviet flag-kill two birds with one stone.
The second image is okay, but I think you might have edited it a bit yourself. Perhaps (this is just a suggestion) you could have done something like, I dunno, put some fried potato chips floating around the explosion and made mention of that in the caption or article-something to do with potatoes, anyway. Overall, the images aren’t bad but could have been better.
Averaged, as always.
Overall, I’d call this a good and well-planned UnNews worthy of the name that could use a bit of pruning here and there. Keep it up! By the way, as a sidenote, if you happen to have any objections to my reviewing style, feel free to drop me a line on my talk page with some helpful criticism.