Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:UN body urges manafacturing reforms to stave off ink crisis

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edit UnNews:UN body urges manafacturing reforms to stave off ink crisis

Don't know if this need images, probably a drawing or a photochop. Anyway, enjoy the article and do whatever you want to it (with or without constent)!

Tkotse 00:28, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 5 I see that mostly the humor seems to focus from quotes that sorta made me laugh. But quotes are not enough for an UnNews article. You also need something to sorta back up your story, giving it the illusion that the information if believable and trustworthy. What I suggest that you do is focus on what the causes of these reforms are, what these riots causes for the ink world, how the economy was hit by this reform, that sort of thing. Basicly, expand the information. Also try to add some theories to what might happen, we want to know what will or will not happen based on inane predictions.
Concept: 7 This is a good concept and certainly an absurd one which means you can possibly make it up as you go along as long as its close to the truth and believable. But try to add some political and economical commentary into there, that should make it relevant in the political sense and give it a needed 3rd person perspective which could make the article self-referential and funny.
Prose and formatting: 6 It looks good and sounds good, but some sentences could use some tweaking to make it look more newsworthy. Try reading it out loud and replace with doesn't sound right, with something that does sound right. Look at some of the UnNews articles for reference. But other then that, it looks good.
Images: 0 What? No images? Well I suggest you add an image, after all. It would make the article more alive and funny in a sense. What I would probably suggest is a picture of panic regarding the ink crisis. You can find a lot of images that you could use for your article here. If you can't find any image that fits your article. Hit up Image Request where someone will whip you up an image that you've reqested.
Miscellaneous: 4.5 Averaged via Pee Review Guidelines.
Final Score: 22.5 This is a good concept. However, it needs to be expanded to fill the information that's needed, to add some political humor and to make it more in-depth. Mostly the advice and suggestions I left in those boxes should help you. On a minor note, you should probably use HTBFANJS as a reference here, as it contains a lot of information that can help you improve your humor. Also try to look at the featured articles to use as your reference, read only the ones that have "UnNews" first. Also read this if you haven't already, as it should have tips on how to improve UnNews, if you have any comments. Leave me a message on my talk page. I wish you and your article the best of luck.
Reviewer: User:The Improver/sig00:49, Apr 17 2008 (UTC)
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