Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Some guy's at a payphone

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edit UnNews:Some guy's at a payphone

No relation to the Maroon 5 song, just so you know. Scofield & The Machine 17:22, June 13, 2012 (UTC)

Don't you lose my numbers. Your review is up. The original scores are in brackets pre-scaled upwards for being a featured article. GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 10:30, July 18, 2012 (UTC)
Humour: 7.4 This article no doubt was humorous, especially with the use of censored text in this part "...because of payphone tapping experiments conducted by our correspondent for national security reasons....oh, goddamit that's CLASSIFIED INFORMATION! REDACT IT IMMEDIATELY!!!" because it is. And also because they accidentally leaked information in which the government intervenes to censor it before they went further. I like the use of the references to Maroon 5 in this news article because basically, it is an article about Maroon 5's frontman without the proper article itself. It feels.... great on the humour side, but may need some working out, because most of the jokes are unintelligible for me, unless a Maroon 5 fan got it. Also, it sounds like I am reading a drama piece instead of a dramedy piece. I'll tell you what I mean:

"If happy ever after did exist....I would still be holding you like this!" he said tearfully....and began cuddling the receiver, or so it seemed to sound like. Upon coming back on line, he whined on "All those fairy tales are full of shit!" Just then, some mushy love song began playing in the background, causing the man to go into a fit of rage, "ONE MORE FUCKING LOVE SONG AND I'LL BE SICK!" he screamed at the top of his voice. Fortunately for him, nobody called the cops at that moment.
Yes, some parts are funny, as I admit it. But the entire line is too dramatic and not enough dramedy. Anyway, it is only saved by an ironic caption on an image- see the images section for comment. (Original score: 6.9)

Concept: 8.1 Ah yes, the payphone. You kids these days with your "smart" phones and "mobile cellular" phone thingymajigs. I see that you put up a great job at making this featured article, is no? But really, you pulled up a concept that was inspired by the Maroon 5's song, "Payphone". Is that about a guy in a payphone calling someone and there was something bad happening? In fact, you used that concept from the music video quite well, although I had not seen the music video yet because one, I am less than interested in the 2010's music and two, I hated Maroon 5 since "Moves Like Jagger" was released. The concept was so good, that it earned you a lot of points right here. (Original score: 7.6)
Prose and formatting: 8.1 The prose is very beautiful and reads like a real news article-cum-current affairs-cum-drama. The current affair stories are now really shit, and this represents the current affair story we get now on our televisions, of a random nobody who ends up getting arrested for no reason. Yes, I call it injustice for that poor man. But no, the prose is more of a news article, and it is funny, and it is also a good fodder for jokes aimed at Maroon 5 fans. The writing flows well too, including dialogue. On the formatting side, it is pretty basic, but it's used correctly, and on one point, the censored template is used for a comedic effect. (Original score: 7.6)
Images: 7.6 There is only one image, but because it is an UnNews article, I will let you off for that one. That screenshot from the music video is relevant to this article. The caption is ironic because the person in the music video is actually the lead of Maroon 5. And ironic statements are good for your comedic piece. (Original score: 7.1)
Miscellaneous: 7.5 Given 7 extra points because it is a featured article. No averaging this time. And also as a result, every score on each section had gone up by 0.5, including this section here. (Original score: 7.0)
Final Score: 38.7 Congratulations on getting your new featured article. This is a real masterpiece, I think, but really, masterpieces can be improved. But anyway, this piece of "dramedy", as I like to call it, can brighten the day of someone who does not live under a rock, unlike me, who lives under one.
Reviewer: GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 10:30, July 18, 2012 (UTC)
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