Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Serial killer known as "Internet" now caught thanks to victim's brother's hint, trial to be held

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edit UnNews:Serial killer known as "Internet" now caught thanks to victim's brother's hint, trial to be held

Pün!

It's just a short one, so just a quick review. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:24, Jan 31

Humour: 6 Not super funny, but some clever references here and there. The audio was good, and greatly enhances things. Your and American, but that's a familiar into to a Brit! Nice job.

Killed the book shop? Library? What about some dictators saying how tricky things are to control the masses these days?

What about shopping? Newspapers? The TV even possibly? Video should also comment on the radio star. ;)

Many things have been killed or are being killed by the internet..

Concept: 7 I like the idea of the internet taking on a personality, and I think this has more potential. I guess as an unnews it's tricky to know if it's a good idea to expand out an article like this or not. You could easily write a whole large full article about the things the internet has killed, but I guess you have chosen to concentrate on just a few.

I always struggle to suggest how long unnews should be, but I think you can expand a bit if you wish.

Prose and formatting: 7.5 Your writing style is OK, but I would like it to be a little more formal. It just looks a bit too much like an uncyc article, and not that much like something which would be read by a news reader.

I'm also not a fan of the "WWW" thing, it does look a bit messy,

Images: 6 I guess there is a joke here relating to the brother, but I'm afraid I'm missing it. Whatever you do, I think the pic can be bigger, and perhaps if you expand you can fit in another one.
Miscellaneous: 6.6 {{Pee|6|7.5|7|6}}
Final Score: 33.1 Dam, how do you review these unnews things! Sorry, I'm not great at this, I struggle to know what to say... Basically I like the concept, and it's a good idea. You could expand into various other places as the potential here is large.

Perhaps the thing to do would be to concentrate on the things which really have been affected by the internet. Decide what you consider to be the really most significant changes. Maybe Porn, music, shopping, or communication and go with those. I think you have missed some of the more important things, and this could be improved if you give a good coverage of the main issues. Good idea. Good luck!

Reviewer: MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:24, Jan 31
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