Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Paul Freeman's acting career dead at 41

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edit UnNews:Paul Freeman's acting career dead at 41

Somebody nominated my article for VFH, and I just thought I could use some feedback. Thank you in advance. Hopefully if you Ooze, you win. PF4Eva, the King of Imagination talk Contributions 17:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 4 This sounds almost exactly like a news article from a celebrity gossip site. There way too much factual information and not nearly enough humor in the article. Basically, it doesn't pass the giggle test. If I was a bit more familiar with Paul Freeman, I might have given it a higher humor rating, maybe a 5.0.
Concept: 4 I would rate the concept as below average, but not horrible. The fact that some obscure actor's career is over is simply not funny, and, to be honest, trying to make it funny is a fool's errand. Additionally, I am unfamiliar with the actor in question, although, from the VFH discussion, it appears its a spoof of Paul Newman's death. It sort of comes across as stretching out a one liner to an entire article. Also, the information is too old for it to have a good chance of being a featured article.
Prose and formatting: 6 Overuse of the {{Cquote}} template. My suggestion would be to remove that template altogether and switch the to simple quotes, as in " " not the template. A quote template might be good once to twice, but not ever other paragraph.
Images: 6 Images are ok, nothing that stands out. The inverting captions really didn't work that well.
Miscellaneous: 5 Average of other scores.
Final Score: 25 My suggestion, to be blunt, and possibly a bit harsh, would be to cut your losses and try working on a different article if your trying to make a Featured Article. Your main problem is that your article is about a month old current event. Even you improved it to Featured Article material, the fact that is outdated will probably prevent from being featured. Even if your trying to make a decent-good article, I'd still advise to put this article on the back-burner and work on other ones, it probably won't be accessed much and its datedness will decrease its humor value. Also, the weakness of the concept will make it difficult to make it funny.
Reviewer: --Mnbvcxz 01:36, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
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