Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Panda inspires fight against Chinese Government censorship

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edit UnNews:Panda inspires fight against Chinese Government censorship

I am a first time Uncyclopedia person. So, this is my first article. I seek to improve, so please be honest when reviewing this.

Jim jimbo 01:22, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

Sorry Jimbo! Normally I'm quicker with reviews. I'll do it tomorrow unless anyone else wants to pick it up and do it before then. - [07:18 10 July] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie

Humour: 6 To be honest, I was sort of expecting the article to be about a regular panda that somehow inspired revolution through its normal actions; that would've been funny. Writing an article about Kung-Fu Panda... not as much. Some of the jokes had kind of awkward delivery due to the grammar issues.
Concept: 6 See above.
Prose and formatting: 4 The prose is a little bit awkward, I suggest having someone go over the grammar or going over it yourself. You've got some jokes in there that could be pretty funny if not for the strange delivery, such as the "Red Panda that's kind of like Yoda except he's a furry. And eating." (did you just mean he's furry, or a furry, and the next sentence sounds awkward.)
Images: 7 Kung Fu Panda picture is unnecessary and doesn't make the joke funnier. The Chinese people are fine, though. You may want to replace the Kung Fu Panda picture with a regular panda and a good caption.
Miscellaneous: 5 Grammar and such needs to be fixed to make a better flow in the article. I suggest rereading it yourself and editing it if you haven't already.
Final Score: 28 It's not terrible, and it's a good idea, but the Kung Fu Panda references are unnecessary. Just make it about an average panda that starts a revolution, and that could be pretty funny. All in all, though, not a bad start.
Reviewer: --Mrmonkey72 21:14, 22 July 2008 (UTC)
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