Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Orange soda tax championed; Kel commits suicide

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edit UnNews:Orange soda tax championed; Kel commits suicide

When I read about a potential soda tax, the orange soda and Kel jokes were too good to pass up. I want to make sure the article is funny enough for VFH because I got a comment on the discussion page saying it was. Let me know what you think. Thank you very much for your time! PF4Eva, the King of Imagination talk Contributions 15:57, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, god! I'm reviewing an UnNews! AAAAAAAAAH! METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (17:42 09-19-2009)
I'd just like to say I love the way it ends. My biggest gripe with this article is that most of the pictures aren't of the best quality. If you can find better quality images, then you'd have one hell of an article. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 00:32, September 21, 2009 (UTC)
I have fixed up the images, and I hope everything looks great so far. Thank you all for your feedback! PF4Eva, the King of Imagination talk Contributions 21:52, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
Whoops, I gave up. Looks like someone else will have to review it. METHAMPHETAMINE! ZOMG HOLY SHIT (01:08 09-24-2009)

User:POTR/Template:PEEing Before I complete it, the short review is that I have as yet found absolutely no redeeming features in it. I'll read it a little deeper, but that may not be to your advantage. Pup t 02:22, 5/10/2009

Humour: 2 See concept, as I'm lumping it all in together
Concept: 2 Okay, the first thing I'm going to say is that I had no idea who Kel was prior to reading this article. After reading the article I still had no idea who he is. After reading the links you had here I still had no real idea who he is. I also had no idea what the reference for orange soda is. I then looked him up on Wikipedia and I had some more idea of who he is - he was famous for being on a show that was famous for having him on it. Oh, and he also wasn't dead, even though there was a rumour about that.

I still had no idea what the link was to orange soda, so in desperation I googled "Kel Mitchell orange soda" and came across a really lame skit where he is an orange soda addict, or something. And I do mean really lame. I've seen better comedic timing from Elmo.

So, I finally got the point - this was an article based around the extremely vague link that a local tax was being proposed by a small interest group on a particular segment of the market of sugary drinks and there was a washed up comedian who had once done a skit about someone who was addicted to orange soda on a tv show that had very little airplay outside of a particular geographic area and on a TV channel that has a very narrow demographic range that has not been on tv for a little over a decade.

Actually it reminds me a lot of when Glynn Nichols did the rip off of Patsy Biscoe sketch where the Doug Anthony Allstars were all fairies in the garden and the gardener sprayed them with DDT and there was that picture of them all lying around dead. I mean, who could forget that moment of champagne comedy?

Now here is where it is likely that I'll be criticised for reviewing this when I am as unacquainted with the material upon which it is based. So I'm going to point out Five tough life lessons I wouldn't have had to learn if I had listened to Flood by They Might Be Giants. This is an article based around an album that is not exactly mainstream. I know one of the songs off here but I don't know the album by a long stretch of the imagination. Now this is a funny article, because it doesn't rely on anybody else's jokes to work. Your article stems from one joke, and as I think I may have mentioned, I didn't like it much.

So what I would need to see in here for this to work is humour that is easily approachable without having an inside knowledge of the show (shows?) in question. Now reading through the article a few times, I have not found a single funny line. Nothing that makes me smile. Not any inspiration at all.

Prose and formatting: 4 There were a couple of spelling mistakes. Nothing too significant.

The layout was extremely nasty, especially with the centred images making this article about twice as long as it needed to be and having this harsh jump in appearance from the first part to the remainder. There was a little template abuse at the end as well.

The writing style was okay - I wouldn't call it a broadsheet tone but it would not be far from what you would see in tabloid press.

Grammar was a little icky in parts but again, forgivable.

It would have been average in this section if it weren't for the layout issues.

Images: 2 Ugly, nasty, poorly photo-shopped images that look like you've spent a total of three minutes on them if we're lucky. The images themselves are badly done, and extremely unfunny.
Miscellaneous: 2 I struggled to write this. I hated reading the article, and actually felt like I had been betrayed by the fact that it was put up for a review to begin with.

There is one thing that I did like about this, and that was the way you arrived at your inspiration from it. Taking two very different articles from very different sources and finding a common thread, and then exploiting that - that is where you can generate some fantastic left field ideas and use those to create something good. A similar approach was actually used in the (slightly controversial) Isaac The Tank Engine.

Final Score: 12 Okay, so you had a sucky review. Where do you go from here? The first option is to turn around and criticise the person that gave you the review. It's okay - I'm likely to be criticised by a few people as I have been very harsh on this article.

The reason why is that given what you used as an inspiration and the fact that you have made a parallel between two unrelated items - that you have actually written to a fairly decent standard relating to your spelling and your grammar and you can formulate a thought - that you think in terms of comedians and you have comedic icons that you enjoy and study their body of work - all of this shows me that you have potential to kick some ass!

So if you show me potential and fail to live up to it, I will be disappointed, and I will be very critical. You have potential. Stop disappointing me!

Reviewer: Pup t 08:58, 5/10/2009
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